Dr Vijay Vs Cricket Team

 Stadium Scene

Vijay       : Hi Dhoni… Haaw aaar u.
Dhoni     : Hi.. I’m fine.. Ok.. Thanks
Vijay       : Hey… Sorry ennaku Englipish theriyaadu..
Dhoni     : Dei… Ennaku unnaiye theriyadu da… Apporam ekkududa English laam..

Vijay       : I’m a great star in south you know…
Dhoni     : Appadiya.. Hey Balaji, you know this guy.. Apun ko ‘star’ bolttha hain saala..
Vijay       : Vannakam naaa.. Enna theriyala ya?
L.Balaji  : Dei.. Unna ennga yo paatha maadiri irruke?

Vijay       : Nallavela.. Neega enna paathu “Yaaru da nee” nu kekala.. Illa na oru periya dialogue sollirukkanum…
L.Balaji  : Dei.. Santhi theratre la… rockets, mutta, thaakaali laam, poriki seconds la vikaravan maadiriye irrukiye…
Vijay       : Illa ngaa, naa nijammave oru star!

L.Balaji  : Nambaramadiri yedavudu sollu da perika mandaya..
Vijay       : Anna… Neenga Thirupachi, Sivakaasi, Madurai, Thirumalaai laaam paaturikeenglaa?
L.Balaji  : Dei pannnaada, line ah ooru perula solluriye.. Nee yenna bus conductor ah?

Murali     : Machi.. Inda payala engayo paatha maadiri irruku, aana evan facekum pechukkum sambandame illaye….
Vijay       : Deivaamee.. Naan than na ‘Dr.Vijay’
Murali     : Nee doctor ah… Loyola la kuppa kutturavaan maadiriye irruke….
Sachin   : Dei.. Enna padichirukke?
Vijay       : Ada ponga na… Naanga SSLC fail la…

Sachin    : okie.. Say a punch dialogue we will agree!!!

Vijay       : Kaadu naa na puli…
Murali     : Dei paanniku porranda naaye.. Nee pulli ah?
Vijay       : Ammmangana… Idhu la yenna  sandegam?
L.Balaji  : 1 Question – Nee kotta edutha puli ah, illa kotta pudungadha pulli ah?

Vijay       : [Crying] Vendamm…
Murali     : Seri.. seri.. Allada.. Continue…
Vijay       : Kaadu naa naan singam, Kadal na naan sura, vaanaam na naaan minnal
Dhoni     : Veedu naa nee TOILET
Sachin   : Roadu naa nee DRAINAGE
Bhaaji    : River naa nee KOOVAM, ‘natham’ summa suthi suthi adikkum.

Vijay       : “Once More” chance kudunga na…
Sachin   : Kya re saaalee… Haamen maaja ah raaha hai.. Bool… Bool saaale bool…
Vijay       : 1 song    – Kuruvi Kuruvi Paarandha… Kuruvi Kuruvi Paarandha… [Music]
Sachin   : Dei.. Mudala “Kuruvi” ah Ooda sollu.. Apporam rakka kaati parakalaam….

Vijay       : “Once More” chance kudunga na…
Bhajii      : Saleee.. M** ka ***t.. Bollo re.. Kya….
Vijay       : Then Then Then, un .. la.. la.. la.. [Music]
Bhaaji    : Paen Paen Pean… un thala yellam paen. Enga thalaya aarukaama oodi poidu…
Vijay       : Last chance sir..


Vijay       : Sir, I want to talk to my Faatherr..
Dhoni     : Fat`too saala… Baath kar…
Vijay calling his dad SAC

 
Vijay       : Appa, enna inga CSK romba naara adikiranga pa…
SAC        : Feel panna kudadu… Ok.. Daddi solluren la.. Evvalo asingapatu irrukom… Idhu laam jujube!

Vijay       : Appa.. Romba kalaaikiranga paaa…
SAC        : Beta.. Nee onnu pannu.. Unnoda padam DVD annupuren… Adha pottu kaaami..
Vijay       : Aiyo appa.. Adhu dhaane Director Gautham kuppa thotti la odachi pottutaru..
SAC        : Maaganee, un apppan unnakaga oru backup eduthu vechirukeen da…
Vijay       : En pa.. En…
SAC        : Yen na unnaku pennadi vaara Sangathigal,  idha paathu, purunji nadandhukku vanga..
Vijay       : Dhanks pa… Neenga romba naalaavaaru pa… Adhutha janmaam nu onnu irundha naa unga maagan ah than
porrakkanum!
SAC        : Aiyoyo.. [Phone clicks]

Vijay turning to audience

Vijay       : Yaaru adicha pori kellambi boomi aadhiradhu kannula theriyido avvan than da Vijay! Naan than Vijay..

L.Balaji  : yaru nadichi DHARANI padam kuda flop aagutho…….
PRODUCER kanla pori kalangi thanni varudo…….
Avan danda Vijay….. Ivan than da andha Vijay..

Maar do saaalee ke kuthee…
Murali     : Adingda aavnaaa, kekuravan Vijay fan madiri maakana irundha KURUVi oscar pogum nu solluingalae da

[Vijay gets beatings from all cricketers + 9thara] – Censored!

___________ Home Scene___________

Dr. Vijay : Ennadi seerial pathutu aluthukitu irukka …….
Wife        : Dai nalla paruda, ithu namma kalayana c.d ……
Dr. Vijay   : …?? ?????????????????????


___________ Studio Scene___________

Raghuvaran :        Enna Arunachalam, 30 nallu la 30 kodi ya eppadi selavu pannapore?
Rajini :      Hee. He.. He..
Raghuvaran :        Enna pa sirikire?
Rajini :      Jujubeee… Vijay-a vechi oru padam edupen!

Vijayai verupor sangam

Doctor 1 : enna aachu?
case failure'ah?
Doctor 2: Yes! suicide atmpt.
poison ah irunda kooda kaapathirukalam but payan vivarama "vijay" padatha fulla pathu irrukan :)
========================================
Bharathiyar Feelings :
In heaven:
chellama - Aiyaiyo..!! ennanga panringa?
Bharathiyar - patha theriyala thooku mattikren
chellama - Naamthan already sethutome!!
Bharathiyar - kanda naai ellam enna mathri vesham potukutu villu powerfullu nu punch dialogue pesumpothu ennaku marupadiyumsavanum polla iruku

========================================
Records:

Russians: We are living in 48 deg cool temp we are great

Africans: We are living in 48 deg heat v are great

Tamilan: We are living even after seeing 48 vijay films. Goyala yarkitta......

=========================================
3.Blue cross:

Blue cross has put enquiry on vijay because lot of kuruvi has attempted suicide for mis using their name.
============================================

4. Bus comedy:

Doctor - Ennappa eppadi adi pattuch
patient - Bus-la porappa 'vijay' padam pottanga,Theatre-nu ninachu velia vanthutten
Doctor-??

===========================================

5. Cricket Introduction:

vijay wants intro with CSK players.
vijay: Hai i am one of the top actor in tamil cinema.
Hyden: Ah Gud joke...Appa macha ntini neeyum hero thanda
Dhoni: Machi... ntiniku santhosatha paaru... balaji do u know him??
Balaji: Theriyala machan theatrela tea kudukara payan mari irukan..
Vijay: sathiyama naan actor than da.
Morkel : Thambi joke adichacu podum.... poi tea eduthukutu vaa.
Fleming : Enaku sakara jasthia.
vijay(crying) : Dai naan actor than da nambunga da... Appa paru panaba matrenganunga.
SA: Vidu magesh babu padathaium un padathium pottu kattu kandipa nambuvanunga
==================================
6. Chess comedy:

Ajit - chess vilaiyaada povom varingala?
vijay - neega pou ground la wait pannunga naan shoe pottutu varean
vijay rocks
===================================
7. Pava manipu:

Reporter: Oru padam mudicha piragu neenga enna pannuveenga?
vijay: Simple chruchla poi pava manipu kaepean.
===================================

8. Best comedy:

Vadivel : Nan than periya comedian
Vivek: Ella nan than periya comedian
Santhanam: Dai methuva peasunga pakkathula "vijay" irukkaru
==================================

9. National anthem:

Viajy to prabhudeva: Indha patu superah Iruke idha Namba Padathula Remake panalama
Prabu Deva: Dei nasama ponavane Adhu Desiya Geetham da
==================================
10. Easy way to die:

Easy way to die:
1. Smoke daily - u will die 10 years early
2. Drink Daily - u will die 30 years early
3. Love a girl truly - u will die daily
4. But see vijay poster u will die suddenly
Yena koduma sir ithu
=========================================

Difference between kamal & vijay:
Kamal acts in 10 diff role in one film(original).
but vijay acts in same role in 10 different dupping films.
==========================================

Director comedy :

Director - Vadivelu podalama, Illa karunas podalama

Vijay - Comedy kuda nane pannuran sir

Director - Comedy neenga than panringa nan hero yara podalamnu think panran



========================================

13. Doctor vijay:

Dr. vijay sslc goes 2 a shop & shouts where is the free gift with this mineral water.
Seller: There is no free gift with this
Vijay: But on the lable its written bacteria free. I am doctor u can't cheat me
Enjoy non stop doctor vijay comedies

Driver - Sorry sir petrol mulusa dry aagidichi , inimel oru adi kuda munnadi nagarathu
Dogtor vijay - Hmm.. sari reverse edu veetukavathu pokalam
===============================
14. Exam hall:

Ajith & vijay writing semester exam:
vijay : Thala konjam answer kattunga
Ajit: Hindi paper da idhu unnaku tamil exam da
vijay: Parravala adha kattunga na tamila remake pannikuraen
Thala: Idhuku picha edukalaam
vijay: yevalavo panrom idhu panna maatomaa......
=====================================

15. Exclusive vijay comedies

Exclusive vijay comedies:
1. How a police can wear boot cut and have style hair?(pokiri)
2. How to go to final match after losing semi finals?(Gilli)
3. How to become boxer in 1 day & 1 song? (adri)
4.How to do uncle job perfectly?(shajahan)
5.How to come alive even after dying?(puthya geethai)
6. And finally having a long jump record for a half a KM in kuruvi.... Still to be continued :-) enna koduma sir idhu....
==============================

16. TV special:

Customer. Intha TV velai enna?

Salesman: 1,00,000 sir

Cus: Appadi enna special?

Salesman: Tv la "vijay" program vanda aduve thana vera channel maridum
=================================

17. Suntv:

vijay : Namma suntv mela case podanum

Manager : Ethukku sir

vijay : Ennoda aduthapadam hit aagumnu sonnatha vilayatu seithil la pottu irukanga


=====================================


Mahesh Babu & Dr. Vijay are writing Interview exam:

Vijay  : Mahesh… konjam answer kattunga
Mahesh Babu    : Telugu paper da idhu, unnaku tamil paper da
Vijay    : Parravala adha kattunga, naan tamila REMAKE pannikuraen
Mahesh Babu       : Idhuku picha edukalaam
Vijay    : Yevalavo panrom idhu panna maatomaa……

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------