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Sunday, March 5, 2023

Mother's Love: The Balancing Act

My dearest son,
As I write this letter, you are just three years old and still have a long way to go before you read these words. However, I want to tell you a story about a time when I struggled as a working mom, and I hope it will help you understand how much I love you.

When you were a little baby, I had to go back to work. I remember the first day I left you in daycare; you cried and clung to me, and I felt like the worst mother in the world. I had to walk away from you, but my heart was breaking into a million pieces.

As the days went by, I had to go to work, and you had to spend long hours in daycare. I knew it was hard for you, and it was hard for me too. When I came to pick you up, you were often the last one left, sleeping on the sofa, tired and lonely. It broke my heart to see you like that, and I wished I could be there for you all the time.

Sometimes, when all the other kids had been picked up, you would still wait there, without any expectation, just hoping that I would come. Seeing you waiting for me like that made me cry inside, and I felt like I was failing you as a mother.

But my dear son, I want you to know that you were always in my thoughts. Every minute of every day, I thought of you and wished I could be there for you. And on the weekends, when I was finally free, I made sure that we spent every moment together. We went to the park, we played games, we cuddled on the couch, and we laughed together. Those weekends were precious to me, and I cherished them more than anything in the world.

Now, as you read these words, I hope you understand how much I love you. I hope you know that every moment I spent away from you was filled with pain and guilt, but I did it because I had to provide for our family. And I hope you can see how hard I worked to balance my career and my role as your mother.

But most of all, I hope you can feel the love that I have for you, a love that will never fade, no matter how many years pass by. You are my precious son, and I am so proud of the man you have become.

With all my love,
Mom

Friday, February 3, 2023

The Secrets of the Magic Stick

As parents, we strive to shield our children from the disappointments and hardships of life. In a world filled with instant gratification, it is crucial to guide our children in understanding the significance of disappointment. 

I recently had an eye-opening experience with my three-year-old son that taught me the importance of allowing our children to face disappointment and grow from it.

One evening, my son requested a visit to the play area. Armed with his cricket bat, he carried a stick from it and set off with excitement. Little did we know that this ordinary stick would lead us to a challenging situation.

As my son played in the sand, stick in hand, his eyes sparkled with delight. He would swing it through the air, pretending to be a mighty warrior. Each throw brought a burst of excitement as he watched the stick soar through the sky. 

As I watched him, I admired his innocence and enthusiasm. It reminded me that as parents, we often strive to provide our children with material possessions. However, it is often the simple things - a stick, a pile of sand, and a child's imagination can bring the greatest happiness.

The Anticipation of a Lost Stick:
In his innocent enthusiasm, my son accidentally threw the stick into a nearby bush, where a king cobra had been spotted just days ago. The fear of the danger that lurked in that bush made me hesitant to retrieve it.

A Cry for Help and a Fake Promise:
As any loving parent would, I tried to calm my disappointed son, assuring him that we would find a way to retrieve his cherished stick. He suggested asking someone for help, even shouting for assistance. However, I had to prioritize his safety and explain that calling security or strangers would not be a good option. To ease his heartache, I made a stupid promise that we would visit the shop today and get him a new stick. I unintentionally raised my son's expectations.

In retrospect, I realized that I should have placed more emphasis on his disappointment and taken the opportunity to explain that sometimes things cannot be replaced immediately and should have taught him the valuable lesson of coping with unexpected turns in life.

The Power of Disappointment:
As the evening wore on, Frustration and tears filled my son's eyes since I did not fulfill the promise, and he pleaded for immediate action. 

I held firm to my decision, explaining that life doesn't always grant us what we want and when we want. Overwhelmed with emotions, he cried himself to sleep.

A Parent's Reflection:
As I watched my son sleeping peacefully, a sense of pride mingled with a touch of regret. I had disappointed my son, but, I had taught him one of life's most valuable lessons. 

It is our responsibility to prepare our children for the realities of life, including disappointment. While it may be tempting to shield them from disappointment, we must resist the urge and instead teach them the lessons that come with it. By allowing our children to experience disappointment, we teach them the ability to adapt to challenging situations.

In the case of my son and his lost stick, I realized that my initial instinct to replace it immediately was not the best approach. By denying him instant gratification, I taught him that sometimes we have to wait for things we desire. I also taught him that life doesn't always go according to plan, and disappointment is a natural part of the journey.

Furthermore, Our children observe how we handle disappointment in our own lives. By demonstrating resilience and a positive attitude in the face of setbacks, we show them that disappointment is not the end, but an opportunity for growth.

So, to all parents out there, remember that disappointment can be a powerful teacher.  In the end, our role as parents is not just to shield our children from pain but to equip them with the power they need to navigate the ups and downs of life. And by teaching them how to handle disappointment, we empower them to become strong, compassionate individuals who can overcome obstacles and find joy and fulfillment, no matter what challenges they may face.