This is a guest post by Vijayeswari Muruganandam
This is the first time; I have tried my hands at writing. Bear with me!! Yes I am writing on something, which I don’t have a profound knowledge. But felt that, this could be tit-bits for all my friends, who are actively involved in their partner search!! As the title infers its about Marriage, Prejudices, DO's and DONT's.
Matrimony!! Reading this word itself would have flashed you with million feelings!! I am just two months old in matrimony search, so I am just sticking with a small post!!
This is purely based on my personal opinion and observation/experience. No Psychiatric evaluation done on this!!
The DON'T's...HERE YOU GO..
Don’t try to judge people and be open to know, what they are!!
- Very often, when we tend to judge people on the looks, with their mail communication etc. Most of the cases do not work out, because there are high chances for miscommunication. Writing is a therapy and you can express yourself without any inhibition, but you can’t guarantee that the intended reader gets it right!! If you are interested in a person and want it to work out, just pick up the phone or arrange for a meeting and get to know each other better. If it is going to be long distance proposals, need to consider carefully, the associated risks, uncertainties and constraints.
Don’t have a Stereotype and Pseudo Modern Mentality!!
- Allow the other person to express their feelings or emotions freely. It is absolutely fine, as you are trying to find your soul mate and this is not any ordinary relationship. The more you have the stereotypic views about a person, the more you have the chances of ending up in a wrong partner!! EGO factor plays an important role here. When the other person expresses their interest, you may don’t have to reciprocate or encourage it, but respect their feelings. The human DNA is wired in a way, that it can’t accept things which come easily. Often I have heard/seen men showcasing the “HUNT & CONQUER” characteristics. Men get the sense of achievement and a source of great pride, going on knees for a woman, who is hard to get. Believe me, 99% of the women do not express their true feelings, because of this nature of men. If you want any relationship to sustain, throw the EGO out of you. Admire them, Ask sorry, Say thanks whenever required and just try to be yourself and if someone does all this for you, don’t take them for granted. It means they value “YOU” more than their “EGO”. If you let your EGO in, people try to hide their emotions and present a fake personality. Do you really want that??
Don’t try to customize people!!
- Perfect man/ woman do not exist in the world. Never try to influence them or customize people, as this may not lead to a long lasting relationship. Try the ones, who best suits you. If they are not your type, just move on. Instead don’t try to tailor them according your expectations.
Don’t juggle with too many options!!
- There is nothing wrong in looking out for more options, as the human brain looks out for the best. But I personally prefer, to go one by one. Give some time to consider every person and look out for the qualities you expect. If you come across a person, who meets almost or majority of your expectations, just fix with them. Comparisons can never stop and at any point, human mind is insatiable.
Don’t Pester!!
- Nobody in the world wants to be pestered. Expressing your interest should not appear like a menace to your potential partner. Relationships may fall out because of this, no matter whether it is before or after marriage.Men usually do not seek attention, but women do!! So boys try to pay attention to your girl, admire them. Dear girls try not to be over expressive, as men hate that!!
NOW WHAT ARE the DOs???
If it is worth doing, its worth over doing!! Yes, if you like someone, just try to be rational enough in considering the background, their interests and passion. Also be emotional enough to understand the person, analyse their emotional quotient and see whether this could work out for you. As every person is unique, some may express their interests soon and some may take long time to admit the interest. The moment you realise/ start to develop emotions for your partner, express it and don't wait for them to express it first. There is nothing wrong in expressing your feelings with the potential partner. Be empathetic!! Play it safe to avoid any last minute disappointments.
AND FINALLY … A SMALL PIECE OF ADVICE!!
If you get rejected, don’t lose heart!! It’s just that people reject EXPENSIVE things, as they CAN’T AFFORD!!
This is the first time; I have tried my hands at writing. Bear with me!! Yes I am writing on something, which I don’t have a profound knowledge. But felt that, this could be tit-bits for all my friends, who are actively involved in their partner search!! As the title infers its about Marriage, Prejudices, DO's and DONT's.
This is purely based on my personal opinion and observation/experience. No Psychiatric evaluation done on this!!
The DON'T's...HERE YOU GO..
Don’t try to judge people and be open to know, what they are!!
- Very often, when we tend to judge people on the looks, with their mail communication etc. Most of the cases do not work out, because there are high chances for miscommunication. Writing is a therapy and you can express yourself without any inhibition, but you can’t guarantee that the intended reader gets it right!! If you are interested in a person and want it to work out, just pick up the phone or arrange for a meeting and get to know each other better. If it is going to be long distance proposals, need to consider carefully, the associated risks, uncertainties and constraints.
Don’t have a Stereotype and Pseudo Modern Mentality!!
- Allow the other person to express their feelings or emotions freely. It is absolutely fine, as you are trying to find your soul mate and this is not any ordinary relationship. The more you have the stereotypic views about a person, the more you have the chances of ending up in a wrong partner!! EGO factor plays an important role here. When the other person expresses their interest, you may don’t have to reciprocate or encourage it, but respect their feelings. The human DNA is wired in a way, that it can’t accept things which come easily. Often I have heard/seen men showcasing the “HUNT & CONQUER” characteristics. Men get the sense of achievement and a source of great pride, going on knees for a woman, who is hard to get. Believe me, 99% of the women do not express their true feelings, because of this nature of men. If you want any relationship to sustain, throw the EGO out of you. Admire them, Ask sorry, Say thanks whenever required and just try to be yourself and if someone does all this for you, don’t take them for granted. It means they value “YOU” more than their “EGO”. If you let your EGO in, people try to hide their emotions and present a fake personality. Do you really want that??
Don’t try to customize people!!
- Perfect man/ woman do not exist in the world. Never try to influence them or customize people, as this may not lead to a long lasting relationship. Try the ones, who best suits you. If they are not your type, just move on. Instead don’t try to tailor them according your expectations.
Don’t juggle with too many options!!
- There is nothing wrong in looking out for more options, as the human brain looks out for the best. But I personally prefer, to go one by one. Give some time to consider every person and look out for the qualities you expect. If you come across a person, who meets almost or majority of your expectations, just fix with them. Comparisons can never stop and at any point, human mind is insatiable.
Don’t Pester!!
- Nobody in the world wants to be pestered. Expressing your interest should not appear like a menace to your potential partner. Relationships may fall out because of this, no matter whether it is before or after marriage.Men usually do not seek attention, but women do!! So boys try to pay attention to your girl, admire them. Dear girls try not to be over expressive, as men hate that!!
NOW WHAT ARE the DOs???If it is worth doing, its worth over doing!! Yes, if you like someone, just try to be rational enough in considering the background, their interests and passion. Also be emotional enough to understand the person, analyse their emotional quotient and see whether this could work out for you. As every person is unique, some may express their interests soon and some may take long time to admit the interest. The moment you realise/ start to develop emotions for your partner, express it and don't wait for them to express it first. There is nothing wrong in expressing your feelings with the potential partner. Be empathetic!! Play it safe to avoid any last minute disappointments.
AND FINALLY … A SMALL PIECE OF ADVICE!!
If you get rejected, don’t lose heart!! It’s just that people reject EXPENSIVE things, as they CAN’T AFFORD!!
"Nice read for ones searching their soul mates..."
ReplyDeleteviijay keep it up
ReplyDeletehmm, Nice. Some of the points are more than interesting. I hope Vijayeswari is an expert on relationship. :) Thanks deeps for sharing.
ReplyDelete"Viji....loved ur post..simply awesome....i respect ur thoughts !!"
ReplyDelete