Some days, life hurts.
And some days, your hormones apparently decide that every hurt you have ever experienced deserves a reunion. Today was one of those days.
Something happened.
On any other normal day, I would probably have just shrugged it off and said, “Easy-peasy” 😄
I would have walked away, complained for five minutes, had some tea, and continued with my life.
But today? Today, that little incident didn't remain a little incident. It walked straight into my heart and suddenly, I cried.
Naah Not those cute, cinematic tear rolling down the cheek kind of cry.
Its a wave of emotions I could no longer hold back.
The kind where you start remembering things that happened 15 years ago for absolutely no reason.
The friend who broke your heart. The person who walked away. The opportunities you lost.
The things you said that you wish you hadn't.
The things people said to you that you wish you could forget.
And, for some reason, even the childhood memories came running in.
At one point, my brain basically opened a folder called:
"EVERY BAD CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE : PLAY ALL."
It felt as though someone had collected all my worst memories, arranged them and said, "Here is the teaser of everything that has ever hurt her."
And my hormones were sitting in the front row eating popcorn.
I remembered everything bad thing happened in my life.
I had to pause for a moment. I checked the date, and then it hit me. I knew exactly what was happening. Those hormones had decided to turn the emotional volume all the way up, making everything feel heavier, darker, and far more painful than it normally would.
And that's something I think many women understand.
Before our periods, our emotions can sometimes become unbelievably intense. Hormonal changes can affect mood, irritability, sensitivity and anxiety. For some women, the emotional symptoms can be much more severe.
I knew what kind of day this was. But for a moment, I felt deeply sorry for women. Why does being a woman have to come with so much physical and emotional pain? For a moment, I questioned God or perhaps nature itself. Why do we have to fight an emotional battle before our periods even begin, only to face the physical pain afterward? It felt so unfair that our bodies could put us through such an intense emotional storm and then say, “Okay, now let’s add cramps.”
I cried and cried again.
It was one of those dark emotional days when everything feels heavier than it actually is.
And I know that for some women, these emotional crashes can go much further into severe depression, hopelessness, or even thoughts of harming themselves.
That is why I don't want us to laugh at women's emotional struggles and simply say: "Oh, she's on her period."
No. Sometimes she is genuinely struggling. Sometimes she doesn't even understand why she feels the way she feels. And sometimes what she needs isn't judgement. She needs someone to sit beside her.
So I went and sat quietly.
The tears started rolling again.
I let them.
I cried.
Then I washed my face.
Looked at myself in the mirror.
And made myself a promise:
Whatever happens, I am not going to make the hormone win this time.
Today may be a terrible day.
But it is still only one day.
And then, as if the universe had been watching this entire emotional drama from somewhere, an email arrived.
The subject? A menstrual-cycle-related leave announcement.
I opened it.
And I could almost imagine some men reading it and thinking:
What the hell? One day of leave every month for this? As if women are actually suffering!
Dear men…
Trust me. You don't have to understand every hormonal change to understand that sometimes a woman's body is fighting battles her face doesn't show.
And no, we aren't asking for sympathy every day.
We are asking for a little understanding on the days when our body, hormones, emotions and life decide to hold a conference without inviting us.
Today reminded me of something important.
Being strong doesn't mean never crying.
Tomorrow, the hormones will calm down.
The heart will breathe again and the bad chapters will return to their shelves.
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