The Day I Lost My Cool

Some mornings start with Kaavaalaa song Vibe with the bgm of Mani Ratnam's Kannathil Muthamittal.

That’s exactly how our day began. My son and I were happily getting down the stairs and then one tiny moment changed everything.

A mistake happened.

Actually… not one. Two.

And yes, both were from my son’s side which has a zero-tolerance.

I lost my patience.

I did something I usually never do.

I slapped him. YES!

The moment my hand touched him, I knew it wasn’t just his mistake anymore, it became my (our) moment of heartbreak.

Before I could take a breath to fix it, to hold him, to say “sorry” or “come here,” the school bus arrived like the worst timed guest.

No time to talk.

No time to hug.

No time to repair.

He got in with a sad face.

We both stood there helpless.

And that… that was the worst feeling a parent can experience.

The Whole Day Felt Heavy

I carried the guilt like a stone in my chest.

I cried more times than I can admit.

In the office, at my desk, even while drinking coffee, I kept replaying that moment.

I kept asking myself: If I, as a grown-up with 30+ years of experience in controlling myself, broke down so easily,  How was my little boy handling it at school?

Was he sad? Confused? Angry?

Was he blaming himself? Or me?

That thought shattered me all over again.

The Guilt Spiral Every Parent Knows

We parents don’t just feel guilty.

We feel three layers of it:

Guilt

More guilt

And extra guilt with interest

I tried to distract myself, didn’t work.

I then ordered his favourite toy on BlinkIt, so he would feel excited after school. And while returning from office, I picked up all the snacks for him.

We finally patched things up… and just when I thought the storm had passed, he made another mistake. And boom !!! the loop continues. 😉

But, What I Learned something today. Parenting is not a straight line.

It’s a messy, emotional rollercoaster where both the parent and the child are learning how to love better.

1. Kids make mistakes. Parents do too. It’s normal. Human. Natural. (Even AI does mistake)
2. Losing control doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you a parent who needs a breath, not punishment.
3. Kids forgive faster than we forgive ourselves. Their hearts don’t hold grudges the way ours do.
4. The repair matters more than the mistake. What you say after the anger matters more than what caused the anger.

To Every Parent Reading This

If you have ever lost your cool…

If you have ever shouted…

If you have ever reacted too fast…

You are not alone.

And your child doesn’t need a perfect parent.

They just need a parent who comes back, hugs them tight, and tries again.

Parenting is not about never making mistakes

It’s about repair, connection, and growing together.

The Security Who Waited

Akansha, a bright-eyed first-year fashion design student, had just stepped into the world of college life,  new friends, new dreams, new beginnings. Every day felt like a fresh page in her story.

But she had no idea one that notebook would change everything. 

One busy morning, rushing to her design class, Akansha accidentally dropped her sketch notebook. The college security guard, known by everyone as Security Uncle, picked it up, noticed her name on the cover, and called out:

“Akansha! You dropped your book!”

She smiled gratefully, took it back, and hurried away.

From that day, he began greeting her daily with a warm smile and a gentle wave.

A week later, Akansha ordered a burger at the canteen. Only when she reached the counter did she realise:

She didn’t have her wallet.

Before she could panic, the canteen guy said, “Already paid.”

Confused, she turned and saw Security Uncle smiling shyly from the gate.

Her friends burst into laughter. “Ohooo… Security Uncle has a crush on you!”

She brushed it off embarrassed. 

One evening, after a long lab session, Akansha stayed back to finish her assignment. By the time she stepped out, the campus was nearly empty. Heavy rain poured down, and her friends had already left.

She stood alone outside the lab, worried. Suddenly, she heard footsteps.

Security Uncle was walking towards her with an umbrella.

Akansha stiffened for a moment. “Uncle… your duty is over, right? Why are you still here?”

He didn’t answer immediately.

Instead, he took out his wallet, opened it, and showed her a small, faded photograph.

A little girl. Smiling beautifully. With the same eyes as Akansha.

His voice trembled. “Her name was A…AAk...Akansha my daughter. She died of fever when she was just ten years old."

Akansha froze. 

He continued softly:

“If she were alive today… she would be exactly your age. You look just like her. When I see you, I feel like… like my daughter is still around me.”

Akansha felt her chest tighten.

Her eyes filled with tears,  hidden by the rain.

She had misunderstood him.

He wasn’t obsessed.

He wasn’t inappropriate.

He was a father… looking at a reflection of the child he lost forever.

Without saying a word, she stepped under the umbrella beside him.

Together, they walked towards the gate.

For the first time, she noticed the softness in his eyes,  not admiration, but pain, memory, and love that never got a chance to grow.

From that day onward, Akansha always made it a point to smile, wave, and ask, “How are you, Uncle?”

Not out of obligation.

But out of respect for a father whose heart still waited for a daughter whose laughter echoes only in memories.

A quiet, emotional story that teaches us:

Sometimes the people we see every day hold the deepest untold stories.

And a simple smile… can heal more than we think.

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