Why Do We Stop Following Our Passion & Dreams

A few days ago, I was scrolling through old photos and stumbled upon something I hadn't seen in years.

The trailer of my book Touch of Mist. I think it was around 2013. Back when social media wasn't ruling our lives, YouTube was still finding its place and going viral meant catching a Viral fever, not getting a million views. 😄

When I suggested creating Trailer for my book, my publisher told me I was the first author to come up with the idea. So, I gathered a bunch of dreamers.

Neha, who played the female lead in my story, was my college senior and yes, she was my girl crush. 😄 Her dream back then was to become a model.

Then there was Abijeet. He wanted to be an actor and was actively trying for an opportunity into the film industry. 

Our cinematographer, a friend of mine, worked at Standard Chartered Bank during the day, but his heart belonged to cinematography. If he had pursued cinematography full-time, he would have earned lakhs and built a successful career doing what he loved.

And then there was me. A newly published author who somehow thought, "My book needs a trailer."

Nobody got paid. Nobody negotiated contracts. Nobody discussed deliverables.

Everyone simply showed up because we loved creating something.

For a brief moment, it felt like the future was standing right in front of us.

Then life happened. Marriage happened. Responsibilities happened.

And somewhere in between all that, dreams quietly moved into recycle bin.

Now when I meet people from that time, the conversation sounds different.

"Oh, I tried modeling once."

"I used to do photography."

"I wrote a book."

USED TO - The most dangerous two words in the English language.

Can we call ourselves failures because we didn't follow our passion? No. The truth is, we never got the chance to explore it fully. We took a few steps, dared to dream, and then life happened. Responsibilities took over, practical realities kicked in, and we surrendered our dreams to the situations.

The question is:

Why does this happen?

Do marriages kill dreams?

Do families stop us?

Does society force us into normal life?

At twenty, we chase dreams because we believe time is unlimited.

Now, we hesitate. Not because we don't have dreams, but because we have grown comfortable with this life. Time feels scarce, responsibilities feel heavier, and the fire that once pushed us to take risks isn't as completely gone. The passion may still be there, but the energy, motivation, and courage to start from scratch often aren't and you need double the energy of it.

Your inner voice says, "Focus on stability." and sad part, we listen to it.

And another year disappears.

The irony is that the twenty-year-old version of us would probably be horrified by how we live now.

But here's what I realized while looking at those photos and my trailers. 

The people in that trailer weren't special because they succeeded.

They were special because they tried. Most people never even do that.

The banker picked up a camera. The aspiring actor faced a lens.

The aspiring model showed up. A writer created a trailer nobody asked for.

For one brief moment, all of us chose possibility and tried somethign. 

Maybe we didn't become famous actors, celebrity photographers or bestselling authors.

But our dreams did die right as we got older. are you feeling your dreams or what you wanted to do is still somewher enot doing it

A 20-year-old has time, energy, health, fewer responsibilities, and less to lose. If they don't pursue their passion then, it's much harder at 40.

At 40, you are competing against: 

20-year-olds who are hungry.

People who have been doing the same thing consistently for 15 years.

Your own lower energy levels.

Family responsibilities.

Financial commitments.

So the advice "just follow your passion" can sound disconnected from reality.

But here is what i say, rather than completeling not chasing why dont you just try. so that it will be like you tired it. 

just change the target. rather than being succesful. 

At 20, maybe the dream was: "I'll become a famous author." instead "Can I write one meaningful book every few years?"

Want to become an influencer? Why not post just one video. Want to pursue that course you've been thinking about? Why not start with a two-day workshop. Most dreams don't require a life-changing decision—they just need a small first step. Whatever dream you've been putting off, share it in the comments. Let's see how we can take the first step together.

Two Red Flags That Can Break a Woman Emotionally

We have always heard about red flags in relationships, whether it is about men or women. We often talk about disrespect, dishonesty, cheating and controlling behaviour. But there are certain red flags that go beyond ordinary relationship problems. They can slowly break a woman emotionally, damage her confidence and make her question her own worth.

I want to talk about two such red flags that deserve more attention.

1. Creating Fear Instead of Making Her Feel Safe

A relationship should be a place where a woman feels safe, not a place where she constantly lives in fear. 

That fear can take different forms. It could be emotional blackmail, threats that he will leave her, threats to expose something personal to her friends or family, or using her private secrets against her whenever an argument arises.

2. Using Her Vulnerability Against Her

This is something I feel is even more painful because it comes from the very person she expects to understand her.

Imagine someone going through personal struggles, hoping for understanding and emotional support. Instead, their difficulties are dismissed, and their feelings are met with insensitive remarks. 

Even during moments of physical discomfort or emotional vulnerability, rather than receiving compassion, they are made to feel unwanted, misunderstood, or like a burden.

These may sound like comments made in anger, but their impact can be much deeper than the person saying them realises.

When a woman shares her struggles, physical difficulties or personal vulnerabilities with someone, she is trusting that person with a very sensitive part of her life. Using those things against her during arguments can destroy that trust.

You don't have to agree with everything your partner says. You can be angry, frustrated or disappointed. But none of that gives you the right to insult someone's mental health or use their vulnerable moments as weapons.

A relationship should be the one place where you can be vulnerable without worrying that your vulnerability will be used against you later.

At the end of the day, relationships are not about never having arguments or disagreements. They are about how two people treat each other even when things are difficult.

If you are a woman going through these challenges, you may not realise it now, but one day you will discover how strong you have become and how much stronger you are when you finally choose yourself and walk away. (atleast emotionally from them)

If you are a woman who is still holding on to a relationship even when everyone around you is asking you to walk away from, even when you know it is draining your happiness, affecting your confidence, and bringing out the worst in you, remember this:

In an era where people are increasingly choosing their peace over compromise and adjustements, you have sacrificed your mental happiness, health, success, confidence, self-worth and so much more, all for one reason ....

For the strength it takes to keep going through battles nobody sees, I salute you.