He Was Planning Her Birthday Surprise. She Was Planning His Murder.

I was watching videos related to the Ketan Agarwal case.

What disturbed me wasn't the 2,004 calls, or the final push by his fiancée Siya Goyal

But, It was her smile, her casual moments and her hugs to Ketan. 

Ketan is seen doing sweet things for the woman he was about to marry. Small surprises. Flowers. Happy moments. Future plans.

And she smiles. She accepts them. She hugs him.

When we think of danger, we imagine angry faces, shouting, threats, obvious warning signs.

He wrapped his feelings in flowers, surprises, and love.

She wrapped her betrayal in smiles, hugs, and affection.

Just a day before his tragic death, they were seen together, dancing closely. Looking at those videos today, no one would have guessed that something was wrong. There was no visible sign that she disliked him. No obvious tension. Nothing that suggested what was about to happen.

That is what leaves so many people in shock.

How can someone smile, laugh, dance, accept surprises, and still carry such different intentions inside?

Many women watching this case have asked the same question:

"But he seems like such a good person. How could she do this to him?"

Stories like this naturally raise a difficult question: How can we help our sons, daughters, friends, or loved ones avoid ending up with the wrong person?

In a modern arranged marriage, where two people may have met only a few times and spoken for a few minutes each day, how can anyone truly know the other person's character?

The honest answer is: sometimes, you can't.

That is what makes this story so unsettling.

Many people are asking, "What warning sign did he miss?"

But perhaps the more uncomfortable question is, "What warning sign was even available to see?"

When a person chooses to hide their true intentions, even intelligent, educated, and caring people can be deceived.

Maybe the lesson isn't that we should become suspicious of everyone.

Maybe the lesson is that families should give less importance to salary, status, and wedding dates, and more importance to honest conversations, transparency, and giving two people enough time to truly know each other before making a lifelong commitment.

Don't fall in love instantly.

In a world of Instagram reels, wedding photos, family pressure, and ticking timelines, it's easy to mistake excitement for certainty.

Before you give someone your heart, give them your brain.

Attraction is instant.

Trust is earned.

And the difference between the two can change the course of your life.

The 13th Time

As I lay on my bed, exhausted, I thought about what happened with my son today.

For the 12th time, I had politely told him the same thing. 12 times. The same request. The same explanation. The same patience. But he didnot do. 

By the thirtheeth time, I was tired. Mentally drained. Frustrated.

And I shouted. Magic, He listened immediately.

As silence filled the room, a thought crossed my mind:

"If shouting works so quickly, why didn't I just shout at the first time?"

If parenting had data & analytics, the report would read: 

"Polite requests -> 0% conversion. Shouting ->100% engagement (reponse Rate less than 0.001 seconds.😆)

But the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became.

Because parenting isn't just about getting children to obey. It's about teaching them how to become good.

And that's when my mind wandered back to my own childhood.

Many of us grew up in homes where every household item had a secondary purpose: A Weapon for beating children.

The belt wasn't just a belt. The dosa karandi wasn't just for making dosas. The comb, the scale, the newspaper, the towel, even the legendary saattai (whip) every item in the house seemed to have a hidden job description.

Primary purpose: Household use.

Secondary purpose: To beat and Correct our behavior

Back then, the definition of a good parent was simple: the stricter, the better. 

If a child misbehaved and the parents didn't beat them, relatives would arrive with free parenting advice: "You are spoiling the child! Beat and Rise" (adichu thuvachu valathu, lol)

"In our days, one look from the father was enough!"

But as a kid, I lived in constant fear that any household object could suddenly receive a career upgrade. Like Anniyan switching personalities, a harmless comb could transform into a weapon used to beat me.

Looking back now, I know my parents loved me deeply. But somehow, my memory has preserved those beatings in crystal-clear detail.

I don't remember what I ate on a random Tuesday in 1998. But I can still remember exactly why I got beaten that one afternoon.

The funny thing is, the beatings were usually for "discipline." Yet even today, I can't remember what rule I broke. I only remember the dramatic beating and shouting performance that followed.

But enough about my childhood survival stories.

Let's come back to the present, where I had just shouted at my son after 12 times.

My son listened after I shouted. But I don't want fear to become the language between us.

I want trust. I want respect. I want him to listen because he understands, not because he is afraid.

Parenting is strange that way. Sometimes we repeat ourselves eleven, 20  times and feel like we are failing. Yet those 12 patient conversations may matter far more than the one moment of anger that finally gets a result.

Children may remember what we teach them.

But they also remember how we made them feel.

That night, lying on my bed, I wasn't proud of the shout. I wasn't devastated by it either. It was simply a reminder that parenting is not about perfection.

It's about trying again tomorrow. With a little more patience.

A little more understanding. And hopefully, one less shout.