Sunday, March 9, 2014

Expectations and Possessiveness in a Relationship

Expectation and Possessiveness are two toxic elements which is a slow and silent killer in any relationship. Possessiveness comes only when we have the fear of losing the person and the real problem comes when we try to possess the person as "MINE

People do say, Possessiveness is sweet and that a romantic relationship always comes with possessiveness and expectation. But it’s a pathetic truth that our mind is programmed in that way. Possessiveness will definitely result in nagging and expectation will result in disappointment. If these 2 have negative outputs then why to be in a relationship and spoil the strength of a relationship?  So, let’s come out of the shell and think just a little different for a healthy relationship.

Remember that if you try to control and restrict your partner's life according to your preferences, you are greatly disrespecting them and you don't love them. If we truly love our partner, we love him or her unconditionally, without expecting him or her to love us in return and love us the way that we want them to love us. We will only wish him or her to be happy

If you are being possessive, it is “YOUR  issue - Your deficiencies.” Why to put your partner in a tough spot because of your doubts?
 Instead of feeding your mind with negative thoughts just focus on the word TRUST. Re-iterate your mind that, this is just a feeling, not the truth."

If he is online in what’s app for 24 hrs and if she is dropped in a bike at late hours, instead of infecting your mind with negative thoughts, just trust him or her and you can’t really change a person by attracting their behaviour. So accept the person as she/he is. More than anything, if you like someone, give them the space they need and accept them as they are

Only a relationship without possessiveness and expectation will bring peace and freedom. If you are in love with extreme possessiveness and expectations its not Love.

Detach yourself from expectation and possessiveness...slowly disappointment, anger, hatred, jealousy, frustration, fear, worry, and feelings of hurt will subjugate and happiness will come to picture

There is always a difference in "changing your partner" and "Accepting as they are and trying to grow with them". Do I need to point out that the first one sounds dominating, and if you cant do the second one then the relationship is pointless?

Friday, March 7, 2014

Happy Womens day

I always owe women who succeeded in both Personal and professional life while keeping their passion alive and growing. In that list, I always respect one person - Vaishali Kasture - Managing Director of Goldman Sachs, Mother of a kid, an avid runner and sports freak.
With simple change in our attitude, we too can reach those heights. And in this women’s day, I would like to share few points which I gained through my experience.
  1.  Make Right choice at the right time and stick with that decision. Never ever feel guilty about that decision in future.
  2. Life is a car race. It’s practically not possible to always run in 4th Gear. It’s okay to take a step back and be in the first gear for a while.
  3. Networking - Build a connection with the people you meet and be in touch with a bunch of people who are your supporters.
  4. Always think of some way to become better and improve your skills.
  5. Life is not a snake and ladder game that teaches you the survival of the fittest. It is instead, a game of chess- to win, you have to make a move.
  6. If you don’t invest in your personal or your technical skills you will be unhappy. one unhappy women = 1 unhappy family.
  7. Take a break from your daily routine and do different things.
  8. Keep upgrading yourself and Stay up-to-date on the industry/Current Role
  9. Work-life balance is not a complex one! Think it instead as "work - life integration" and you can juggle family and career well. 
  10. Plan! Plan!! Plan!!! Spend lot of energy pre-planning than the Post work. Once the planning is done, then make sure you go through your sequence of planning.
  11. Planning is the most important thing. Not perfection. It’s okay to do mistakes at the initial stage and learn from it. It is a fact that every human, be it one belonging to the aristocratic society or the peasants, he/she makes 7 mistakes each day ! 
  12. The Quest for perfection comes when you accept yourself with your inabilities and be happy with what you are
  13. Invest (spend time) in yourself.
  14. Life is a long game. Have a mission, both personal and professional. Strive to balance between both keeping in mind to be comfortable with the choices you make.
  15. Give importance to the ME-time. That period of incubation is what gives life its productivity. It is okay to be greedy and resilient in the long run.
  16. Role models and inspiration does not mean that it has to come from some big personality. Every person, big or small you meet in your life will teach you something. Take inspiration from your surroundings, the place you live and breathe. 
  17. You may fail quite a number of times. But always carry the ray of hope, for it is that hope, that distinguishes a man from a Woman.

Happy women's day !