Second Chance by Deepika Muthusamy : Prologue

 Prologue

Seated at the front row of the Russian Sculpture Art Classroom, I ended up in a course I never imagined would join, but today I am all for my Kavya. I thought silently, my eyes fixed on the door with anticipation, eagerly awaiting her arrival.

Just then, a soft voice broke through my thoughts, "Hey, I'm Adira," a beautiful girl introduced herself with a graceful hand extension, her modern charm evident in every gesture. Yet, my gaze remained fixed on the door, and I was too preoccupied to respond to her.

Adira, noticing my distraction, teased, "Are you practicing for a staring contest with the door? Because if you win, your name will definitely go down in record books. But for that, I should probably know your name first!"

Just then, a guy from the back bench, Arjun, hopped in, attempting to make his presence known with a greeting to Adira. She responded politely but quickly turned her attention back to me, indicating her lack of interest in him.

"How should I call you, Mr...?" she trailed off, scanning the name on my ID card with mock seriousness.

"Karthik," I managed to reply, torn between discussions as my thoughts kept wandering back to Kavya's impending arrival.

But you can call him 'the guy with the wandering eyes,' Arjun replied, attempting to make an impression on Adira.

The classroom, with its colourful tables and attached chairs, set the stage for creativity. Each table seated only two people, and the semi-circle arrangement fostered engagement. 

Sunlight casted the room, illuminating a palette of colours and bringing life to the previous student artworks adorning the walls.

Adira, settled beside me without hesitation, asking, "Hope I can sit next to you?" It was impossible to refuse her, especially knowing we would be companions for the next six months in this program. 

However, deep down, I wished my seat were empty, hoping it would provide an opportunity for Kavya to sit beside me.

The main reason I signed up for this 6-month 'Sculpting the Russian Soul' course is Kavya; maybe I will sculpt my way back into her good books.

The mere thought of Kavya catching even a glimpse of me with another girl, —especially now, during this delicate post-breakup phase—sends shivers down my spine. It's a definite recipe for disaster and a massive turn-off for her.

"Are you waiting for someone?" Adira's question interrupted my thoughts once again as she placed her mobile and belongings on the table.

 "No, yes... I mean, Yes, waiting for the art instructor." I fumbled, masking my true intention behind a simple excuse of waiting for the instructor. As the Russian Art Instructor arrived and greeted us warmly and welcoming us, my thoughts were disturbed as Kavya was not here yet. 

He took a brush and in a fraction of a second, he started scribbling on the canvas. What began as mere strokes quickly transformed into a beautiful piece of art, captivating everyone in the class. It served as a perfect ice breaker. While the entire class was mesmerized by his creation, I found myself gazing towards the door, lost in my own thoughts.

Why hasn't she come? A voice at the door interrupted my thoughts. Everyone's attention turned towards the person at the door. It was Kavya, stunning in an olive-green Kurtha, her arms filled with materials for Russian sculpture painting. 

She stood there, a hint of sweat on her face, clearly in a hurry, apologizing for being late to class. From her body language and my familiarity with her, it was evident that she would have chosen to change two metros, take at least three buses, or even walk a few meters just to reach this venue. The instructor gestured with his right hand for her to come in, and then signalled her to take a seat as she walked slowly searching an empty spot.

Coincidentally, I was also, in an olive-green shirt with the look she always liked — a slightly trimmed beard and a formal appearance — hoping she would fall in love with me again.

"Arjun, switch seats with me," I quickly whispered, and Arjun and I interchanged seats. With a swift exchange, I strategically ensured there was a vacant seat next to me for Kavya to occupy. There were no other empty seats as they were all occupied.

Kavya walked into the art class with a mix of nervous energy. As she stepped into the room, the familiar smell of paints and the soft murmur of conversations filled her senses. She took a deep breath, ready to lose herself in the world of colours and creativity.

However, when Kavya scanned the room for a place to sit, her eyes widened in shock and anger on seeing me. 

Would she sit next to me, or would she consider leaving the program upon seeing me here?

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A hidden Letter from a Women's Heart

Dear Friend,

Love is a beautiful emotion that has the power to bring immense happiness. When she first fell in love with him, her heart was filled with dreams of a shared future, support, and mutual respect. However, over time, those dreams began to fade, replaced by a harsh reality she never anticipated.

In the beginning, she believed in the strength of their love, thinking it could overcome any obstacle. But as days turned into months and then years, she realized that love alone is not enough. When a man refuses to take responsibility for his actions, when he insults, mocks, and belittles her, the foundation of that love starts to crumble. The person she once adored became a source of pain, someone who inflicted wounds not just on her body, but on her soul.

It's heartbreaking to admit, but she has been beaten and kicked in front of their child. The physical pain was unbearable, but the emotional scars cut even deeper. She stayed silent, hiding the bruises and the tears, because she wanted to protect their child. She thought enduring the abuse was a way to shield them from the harsh reality of a broken home. She convinced herself that staying was the lesser evil, that sacrificing her own well-being was worth it if it meant their child would have both parents.

But the truth is, staying in such a toxic environment does more harm than good. Children are perceptive; they see and feel the tension, the anger, and the fear. By staying, she was teaching her child that such behavior is acceptable, that it's okay to hurt and be hurt. This realization was devastating, but it was also the first step towards reclaiming her strength.

She kept her mouth shut about the abuse, hoping that her silence would maintain the facade of a perfect family. The world saw him as a good man, oblivious to the nightmare that unfolded behind closed doors. Her silence gave him power, allowing him to continue his facade while she withered away in the shadows.

To any woman reading this, enduring similar pain, she wants you to know that you are not alone. Your love is not a curse, and your silence is not a testament to your strength.  Your life, your happiness, and your well-being matter. You deserve to be loved and respected, not just by others, but by yourself.

It's not always possible to leave, especially when children are involved. However, remember that you have the right to live a life free from abuse and fear. 

Try to silently stay away from them whenever possible. These people won't understand at all and will continue to hurt you, but you have the power to fight silently and stay strong. I know he crushed you and trashed your trust, but it's important to pick yourself up and move on. Even in silence, you can reclaim your strength and protect your heart. Remember, your resilience and quiet determination are powerful tools to rebuild your life.

Love should lift you up, not tear you down. It's time to rewrite the narrative, to break the silence, and to reclaim your life. You deserve to be cherished, respected, and safe.

With all her heart,

A Woman Who Silently Fights the Battle

When Husband Surprises

Valentine's Day – a day that used to mean everything before marriage, and now, well, it's somewhere between "can't live without you" and "just need some space." You know, life's a strange journey.

So, the day started with me checking social media, and all I see is people declaring their partners as the best in the world (some even declared their partners as the eighth wonder of the world). Couples going out for a Valentine's Day dinner – all cute. But here in our world, where work takes the front seat, celebrating Valentine's Day felt a bit too much.

No expectations, though. I knew my husband wasn't the roses, hugs, and chocolates type. We both had to shuffle off to the office, so we exchanged goodbyes. I casually suggested going out for dinner in the evening. His response?  "Client visit, too busy this week." Okay, fair enough.

The day rolled on, no surprises. No romantic gestures. We both were super busy until 10.00 pm. When the day was about to end, he suggested a walk at 11 am. Sounds sweet, right? But the catch – he kept glancing at his phone, answering calls, and doing all that work stuff. I got annoyed and threatened to leave if he couldn't spare five minutes of real quality time.

And then, the unexpected happened. He took me to the parcel room at the apartment, a place filled with packages. I'm thinking, "What's going on here?" He pulls out a gift from the mess of boxes and hands it to me. Romantic, right there in the middle of everyday chaos.

It hit me – love isn't about grand gestures or expensive presents. It's about those little moments. In the parcel room, amid the boxes, he managed to surprise me. No fancy dinners, just a simple walk and an unexpected gift.

But wait, a doubt crept in – did he really go to a client dinner, or was it a cover-up for a secret date? 

As the night approached, my mind started playing detective tunes as I wondered, "Client dinner or romantic date?"

"You caught me red-handed!" he exclaimed with a mischievous grin, and without waiting formy response, he made a hasty escape. And the race was on, fueled by a playful chase. 

In relationships, it's not about grand gestures or elaborate plans. It's about keeping the spark alive with  humor, surprise, and a willingness to embrace the unexpected. Sometimes five minutes of quality time is all the secret keys to a happy journey together! 

Managing Motherhood and Work

 We all have been there – juggling our roles as professionals and moms.

Picture this: We are in the middle of an important client meeting. You have prepped, engaged and are totally ready to nail the pitch and have practically put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your forehead. And then, it happens – the door creaks open, and your little one walks in, wide-eyed and curious.

#WorkFromHomeChallenges

You have laid down the ground rules as strict as a military boot camp and requested no interruptions, declaring a state of  "No Interruption- No-Entry Zone!" 

But kids have their own sense of timing, don't they? They barge in, like a volcanic eruption, shouting with boundless enthusiasm and energy. In that moment, a surge of emotions washes over you – a mix of frustration, embarrassment, and even a tinge of guilt. You shoot a quick glance toward your child, silently pleading for them to understand the gravity of the situation.

But here's the thing: your child's innocent entry isn't a sign of disregard for your work or your instructions. It's actually a beautiful display of their love and their longing for your attention. Their little hearts don't understand the intricacies of corporate meetings or deadlines. What they do understand is that their mommy is in that room, and they just want to share a moment, even if it's brief.

You might have caught that glimpse of sadness on your child's face as you gave them the stern look, and in that moment, something profound hits you – the realization that in our quest to excel as professionals and parents, we might unintentionally be hurting the ones we cherish the most. As young moms, we often find ourselves walking a tightrope, trying to strike that elusive balance between our demanding careers and the endless demands of motherhood.

So, what can we do? How do we manage these conflicting worlds without sacrificing our own well-being or the happiness of our children?

Communication is key. As your child grows, involve them in your work life to the extent that they can understand. Share stories about what you do, and explain why those meetings matter. This can create a sense of connection and even pride in what you achieve.

Consider setting up dedicated "mommy time." In the midst of your busy day, allocate pockets of time when you can give your undivided attention to your child. These moments, even if short, can work wonders in reinforcing the bond between you.

And finally, let go of the guilt. Remember that you are doing an incredible job – you are not just a mom, but a role model showcasing the essence of dedication, hard work, and love.

So, the next time your child interrupts a meeting, pause for a second. Take in their innocent smile or the sparkle in their eyes, and remember that these fleeting moments are the ones that create the cherished memories. Embrace the journey of being a young mom, with all its ups, downs, and unexpected interruptions. After all, it's these very interruptions that might just be the most beautiful part of your day.

Dream Couple

My friend Sangeetha called us a "Dream couple". 
I asked, “What made you to say so” 
“You look happy, only few people are happy after the marriage” She added.

I guessed where she is coming from.
“Oh! Oh, you can’t judge my life based on my Facebook or WhatsApp status.  Moreover, you should say this after 30 years or 40 years or, 50 years of my marriage. We are just married” I responded
“Deepika, I get that vibes and you have made a good decision in choosing the life partner. Can you share some advice?” She requested looking into my eyes.

As I look back on it, Yes, I agree I met the man of my dreams.

Choosing the right partner is like building a strong foundation for a successful Married Life. We spend lot of time making our dream wedding plans. Do we at least spend some time to choose our life partner? Choosing the right partner is extremely crucial for a marriage and If you succeed in doing so, you are half the battle succeed.

How to choose a life partner?

I am tired of being single...

I need a mate now...

I am growing older...

Life is boring...

External Pressure...

My friend is getting married, So I have to...

If you are getting married based on those wrong reasons, then the marriage might be at risk.

Some people believe getting married is the key to happiness and will solve the problem of being alone. If that was the case, all wedded ones should not feel lonely. Indeed, most of the people feels puffed after a marriage.

When I could not find the companion I hoped for, I did not get frustrated or dejected. I took that time to discover about myself and explored things I never knew. I focused on what I needed in my life. That further gave me a wisdom of clarity about life and confidence in choosing the spouse.

My advice would be, Stop hunting for a man or woman. Be unique, keep on travelling in all the aspects of life, you will eventually meet the life partner in that journey.

Before I was ready to say, “I love you,” to someone. I loved myself more.

Ask yourself.“Do you love you?” 

If you can’t love yourself, No one can. It’s not a fairy-tale, no man will come riding in a horse to love you.
But when you love yourself, others will admire the way you are.
Loving yourself can help you to love others naturally and keep them happy.

Before you get married, learn to control your emotions. if you cannot control your emotions, your passions, your feelings, your attitudes and behavior—then you are not prepared for marriage.

I overwhelmed lot of criticism by society for not getting married at the right age and by saying no for proposals. But I was sturdy and hanged on, until I find that person. Yes, Instead of escaping from the situation, I decided to accept the pain that society gave and courageously stick to my decision.

Because I should not regret my decision later and if I do so, I will not be able to forgive myself. Hence, while you embark on this journey, there will be lot of painful strings attached to it. Be prepared to have headache and heart breaks.

Finally, I meet him. We shared a similar love for the family and possessed a mutual passion for life. When I was with him, I felt secure. We were not afraid to ask questions or discuss about negatives.

Realize, no couple is happy 24*7 and cuddles all the time. If this basic law of marriage is understood, then 50% of the marriage problems will be solved.

Any successful marriage will undergo hurt and bitterness. It’s always good to vent out and argue. Healthy couples eventually learn from it, instead of exploding and making the situation worse. We learn by living.

Choosing your partner is once-a life-time decision and the consequence will impact or change the lives of you and your family.

When you choose a partner based on the butterfly chill moments it might go wrong! 

When you choose based on matching criteria, it might go wrong!

Choose when both the mind and soul are in sync, it will help to have a higher level of serenity in marriage.

Discover the world through my lens at Blog at My Fun, My Memories, My Life

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Three Heroes in My Life: People who Shaped My Life

A woman's success is significantly influenced by the men in her life, and the institution of marriage holds a major significance in shaping her journey, both positively and negatively. Choosing a good life partner becomes paramount for nurturing inner harmony and fostering professional growth. My dad, partner for thirty years, has always been my first hero, but in this blog, I would like to shed light on another remarkable hero in my life.

Pregnancy brings profound physical and emotional transformations in a woman's life, prompting her to recognize the invaluable presence of a supportive partner. The purpose of this post is not to boast about my own fortune, but to challenge the common misconception that men are incapable of providing genuine support and understanding. I, too, held such beliefs before marriage, but I want to assure women that there are men out there who truly love, care for their partners, and hold deep respect for women. While they may be rare, they do exist, and it is crucial for us to seek them out.

If you are a man reading this, I hope this post will inspire you to wholeheartedly support your pregnant wife. Understanding her anxieties and insecurities during this phase may be challenging, but the support you offer will be cherished for a lifetime.

Now, let's delve into the essence of this article.

As an expectant mother, I was overwhelmed with anxiety and self-doubt about the upcoming labor. However, having a supportive partner by my side transformed my fears into hope and optimism. My partner not only believed in my abilities but also encouraged me to pursue my dreams of writing a book, making movies, and raising our children to the best of my capabilities.

During my pregnancy, I experienced minimal morning sickness at first. However, as the second month approached, I was hit with constant nausea, often vomiting everything I consumed. In this exhausting time, my partner became my unwavering support system. He held my head while I was sick and took care of the aftermath.

His consistent love and support gave me the strength and motivation to navigate the challenges of pregnancy. Each day, I grew more confident in my ability to overcome any obstacles that came my way.

Throughout the ups and downs of pregnancy, my partner remained a steady and dependable presence in my life. His unwavering support and encouragement helped me conquer my fears and self-doubt, and I will forever be grateful for his enduring love and belief in me.

He never once asked me to cook dinner and always made sure I was well-fed, even when I had food cravings. When heartburn struck, he provided me with soothing juice to ease my discomfort.

As my pregnancy progressed, even simple tasks like cutting my nails became challenging. My partner willingly helped me, trimming my nails and never hesitating to reach my feet or tie my shoes.

He made it a point to accompany me to every maternity appointment, prioritizing them over his own work commitments. He always arranged pillows to ensure my comfort during back pain and even offered hot pack massages to relieve my discomfort.

With the hormonal changes during pregnancy, emotional control can be difficult. While I was fortunate not to experience major outbursts, I did have moments of unexplained weeping and crankiness. My partner accepted my peculiar behavior and constantly reassured me that I was normal, reminding me that I was his greatest gift.

Though we had our fair share of arguments, his sense of humor always dissolved the tension, and we would end up laughing together, letting go of any anger or chaos, and moving forward.

As an active runner, he gave up running when I became pregnant and gained weight alongside me. Whenever I asked why, he would simply say, "I am gaining weight so that you don't feel guilty about your own weight gain." At the time, I didn't fully believe his words, but after giving birth, he resumed his running routine. Now I realize he meant every word. This selfless act is something not every man would do.

I hold immense respect for him, so much so that when I emerged from labor, he was the first person I wanted to see, and there he was, waiting for me. My pregnancy journey wouldn't have been as joyful without his unwavering support.

Dear partner, I consider myself the luckiest person in the world for having met you and making the best decision of marrying you. I thank you for placing your trust in me. I will never forget your support and kindness, and I express my gratitude every day when I see our son. You are my safe haven, and I love you deeply.

And yes, did I mention the third hero in my life? It's our son.

Elderly parents? Read on

A Letter to all my friends and Readers

What is the major change in life? Job change? Getting married? or Financial windfall? 

Above all, there is one major change in life, in which we have no experience or never realize. But that's the most important change which needs to be dealt with cautious care. Because it’s highly sensitive. 

Can you guess what’s that?

All of your life there were two persons who was always there to support you financially as well as emotionally. All of a sudden one day you realize that the world has turned upside down. Your elderly parent starts depending on you. Below are few things to remember, when that major change happens

Apologize when you are rude with them:
That, that repetition, senseless questions, ability to hear, their innocent activities drive us crazy one or the other time.  We never tend to hurt them intentionally, but sometimes (or most of the times?) we get annoyed and outburst our frustration with them.

Few years before, I offered a glass with tea to my grandma. She raised her hands toward me to accept the tea glass. With trembling hands, she picked it up but dropped the tea glass immediately. The hot droplets of tea splashed onto my eyes and I howled out in pain. My dad rushed to the spot and looked at his mother (my grandma) as well his daughter (me). He went near my grandma and comforted her saying, "Mom, Just a tea right. Leave it. We can easily clean and can make another cup of tea. Leave it". 

Its then I released how my grandma was feeling helpless, guilty and extremely bad for dropping the glass and tea on to my eyes. This incident disturbed my mind a lot. Are we (this young generation) so calm enough like our parents? I know, her act was not intentional. But incident like this tend to raise our anger and we just show it to elderly people. 

My grandma hands were thin and she could not tolerate the heat. It’s my mistake for not taking extra care while offering the tea. Incidents like this often happen with our elderly parents and we tend to lose our patients. 

Friends my sincere request, don’t ever show your rudeness or emotional outburst with them. If you do so, they will feel insecure and guilt. 

I agree, they repeat the same things again and we get frustrated. 

They embarrass us in front of others and it tests our patients.  

But please don’t lose your temper with them. By any chance if you could not control your anger and shouted at them, apologize. 

Say positive words. Tell them, “I am sorry. I was in bad mood and will never repeat"

When you keep apologizing for your activity, you tend to be little more cautious from next time

Spend some quality time with them:

I am not asking you to take them for movies or some international trips or fulfil your parents long temples wish-list. Just leave your mobile phones at your home and take them for a walk. Listen to them that's more than enough. Read more at Little things to do to our parents.

Let them enjoy their Independence:

While crossing the road, in order to protect my dad, I hold his hands. He instantly push my hands and say not to hold. 

Yes, our parent doesn’t like to be treated as someone who needs help. They wanted their independence first. Learn to help or protect them without letting them know. 

In my previous case I say, dad I need protection and act as if I need help while crossing the road and protect him. In this way, they feel proud that still they are able to support their child too.  

One last thing, I came across this touching message today

An old man took his phone to a repair shop, He was told nothing was wrong with his phone, He asked then why don't my kids ever call me. 

Never make parents long for their own children love. If they do so, that's the biggest failure in our life. 

Is Relationship Really Complicated?

Valentine day is quite close and it’s a usual tendency for People who are single tend to come across the happiest couple and couples find single to be the happiest. My friends who are in relationship often say relationship is tiring, painful, bullshit.

"It’s a wonderful feel. But only during the early stage, later marriage is a hell" says one of my friend who is married. So, is relationship that intricate as everyone say? If marriage yields pain, then why to proceed?

Well, Relationship is not that complicated as everyone says. We humans make it complicated. The truth is with little effort it can be a blissful journey.
Here are few things one should understand before getting into a relationship.

• Relationship is not always a bed of roses:

You are going to spend the rest of your life with them. He/she will have a downtime or a stressed day and might return home with a package of anger, frustration and may un-bundle it against you. Respect their mood swings. Expecting a perfect love similar to the one projected in silver screens, is like expecting a life in the fantasy. One cannot expect a life without disagreements and conflicts. Any relationship will undergo hard days. Try to sort it out as it when comes. We are human beings and tend to do horrible mistakes knowingly or unknowingly. Learn the art of ignoring and forgiving. If he forgets your birthday or anniversary, don’t get enraged. After all, we are human beings and once in a while there are chances of forgetting the special days.

At the end, a successful relationship strives not when you don’t fight or commit a mistake. But how far we look positive and tend to carry only the beautiful memories. It’s in our hands to collect a bunch of sweet memories in a beautiful bouquet called life.

• Indeed, there is a magical formula:

What if there is a relationship formula, which implicitly provides a fact for the success of relationship. All couple will have a flourishing relationship right? But there is one simple, yet magical formula.

Give = Receive double

Stop complaining that they are not expressing the love you expect and not taking care of you. Shower them with love. You will receive it in double.

Treat his mother with respect! in turn he will treat your parents like a god!!!

Compromise one of your favorite serials for his cricket match! he will surprise you with lot of compromises that you could not even imagine.!!!

Spend one hour of uninterrupted dedicated time with her, She will give you more privacy than you expect.!!!

Compliment her for the delicious food. (Even if it is not)! Appreciate her for multitasking at home and office!! It’s her great source of motivation and she will do with more love and passion.!!!

• Accept that occasional change in behavior:

Sometimes a person expects private space. They may not express love as they did earlier or might hurt you on a particular day and will not bother about it. Ignore!!! That one particular day is not going to change everything or it’s not the end of world. After all, no one can find a person on earth you will keep you happy all the time.

• Possessive and Expectations are out dated:

Gone are the era where spying the text message, tracking their social media friends and knowing their whereabouts were considered as possessive or love. These days people expect privacy. One can’t really stop a person by scrutinizing. This makes only the relationship more complicated and pain.
Some people believe, "little lie is harmless and needed to avoid a conflict situation. But on a longer run, little lie or avoiding the truth is just a temporary put-off for fights. It’s like a mirage. For monogamy, be loyal and show sincere honest love to the partner.

Above all, don’t forget to express your love often. When you express it, mean it.
Happy Valentine's day!!!

Daughter Mother Relationship

The easiest thing in the world is to hurt your mom and the hardest thing in the universe is saying sorry to your mom. There is no doubt; Mom is the only soul who loves us from the bottom of the heart without any expectation. But, we always take her for granted. We always blame them for most of our problems. We blame our mom for not gifting a wonderful past. We blame our mom for not offering the compassion we expected. We hate our mom for getting angry and yelling at us for our mistakes. We hate our mom, when she gives opinion,when she sets rules and controls our life.  

"Throw her out of the house, scold her and show all your hostility, she will never fail to love you back."

Yesterday, I had a bad argument with my mom that led to harsh exchange of words. Pretty sad, Isn’t it? Must say, my mom was quite. But she was extremely stressful and upset for not understanding her love.

If I look back, she offered me the best food, top class clothes(even though she had none), money when I needed. Above all a lap that I needed when I was down.

But, being a cruel human being I just saw her flaws. I just got angry at her for not offering me what I want. I got angry for not letting me to do what I wish. I got angry at her for not encouraging me in my achievements. I was not matured enough to understand that she just lacked basic encouraging skills. I was not ready to accept the fact, "what ever it is, she loves me at the end." 

Sound familiar isn’t it? We always look at the things that our mom does not offer us. Though I knew she offered me all the basic necessities of life like education, wonderful shelter, love, nursing, food, I just looked at what she did not give. It’s the human nature.  If you often get mad at your mom/dad, it’s time to pause and read below.

•  If your mom is hurting you, remember she is not doing it willingly. She too has stressful days, demanding boss, jealously relatives that she needs to dealt with.
• Not letting you to fulfill her wish? Putting so much of rules? setting up lot of expectations and annoying you? Demanding you to wake up early and do house works? That’s how she was raised by her parents. She was preached by her mother that a women child needs to be fostered that way. She is trying her best to show all the love under the earth with the knowledge and experience she has. 
• They are human like us, which meant that they too have flaws and will make mistake. Just count how many mistakes we commit in a day.
• See that little innocent child within her. After the age 50, parents are dependent child. Expecting just love and time from her child. 
•  Learn to accept our parents as they are. It will open new door of happiness.
• If she sets an expectation which in turn annoy you, getting angry is not the solution. Just explain her with facts and confidence. She will be happy to accept it. 

A mother always expect her daughter to be a best friend. Lets try our best not to hurt our mom.

35 Ways to Respect your Parents

"35 Ways to Respect your Parents"

. Parents are the first person whom we should treasure and care with ardor. Parents are the only soul who wish to see their children happy and long for the welfare and happiness of their child. Whatever role we are in "an-obedient-parent" or "a-sincere-employee" or "studious-student" or "a-dependent-child" or "an-aging-person" its our responsibility to keep our parents happy.

I got the below "35 Ways to Respect your Parents" message from my friend and could not control myself from posting in my blog. Below 35 points are simple yet powerful tips to keep our parents happy.

35 Ways to Respect your Parents
1. Put away your phone in their presence
2. Pay attention to what they are saying
3. Accept their opinions
4. Engage in their conversations
5. Look at them with respect
6. Always praise them
7. Share good new with them
8. Avoid sharing bad news with them
9. Speak well of their friends and loved ones to them.
10. Keep in remembrance the good things they did.
11. If they repeat a story, listen like it's the first time they tell it.
12. Don't bring up painful memories from the past
13. Avoid side conversations in their presence.
14. Sit respectfully around them
15. Don't belittle/criticize their opinions and thoughts
16. Avoid cutting them off when they speak
17. Respect their age
18. Avoid hitting/disciplining their grandchildren around them
19. Accept their advice and direction
20. Give them the power of leadership when they are present
21. Avoid raising your voice at them
22. Avoid walking in front or ahead of them
23. Avoid eating before them
24. Avoid glaring at them
25. Fill them with pride even when they don't think they deserve it.
26. Avoid putting your feet up in front of them or sitting with your back to them
27. Don't speak ill of them to the point where others speak ill of them too
28. Keep them in your prayers whenever possible
29. Avoid seeming bored or tired of them in their presence
30. Avoid laughing at their faults/mistakes
31. Do a task before they ask you to
32. Continuously visit them
33. Choose your words carefully when speaking with them
34. Call them by names they like
35. Make them your priority above anything

Little things to do to our parents

Little things to do to our parents.

Below are the little things to do to our parents who are around 60 to 70 years old. Due to circumstance, we are away from them and it’s tough to provide our 100% support.

• Reduce their burden: Pay their home electricity bill, Telephone bills online. Recharge their mobile, DTH’s online. Decrease their pain of standing in queue for a long time. For us, it’s just a one click payment.
• Whenever you go home, buy the things they want, and stock it up.
• Educate them: Teach them the usage of mobile and what' app. Share the kids' photos and videos often via what’s up. They feel so happy to watch their grandchildren.
• Though we have many advantages over mobile invention, it spoiled our memory. We hardly dial our beloved numbers and we never remember the number in mind. What if mobile gets lost, or someone stolen it or if they forget it. So, frequently check whether they could remember 5 important person number (life partner, office number, daughter, son number)
• Call them and talk often:When they say they are not feeling well, it may be not possible for us to take them to the Hospital. But at least call them morning and evening call to inquire about their health. Though you may not be able to provide physical support, offer them emotional support.
• Accept their emotions change:I know this is the most challenging part. Always keep in mind that they are getting older physically, whereas turning kids at heart. Their memory power is weakening and even our little different behavior would hurt them a lot.

They repeat the same sentence often. Learn to be patience.

They tend to forget thing and keep asking the same question 5th time. Learn to reply them politely.

They ask you how to use gadgets, DVD's infinite times. Smile and teach them as if you are teaching for the first time.

• Shower with the things they love Show them their old photos often. Gift them the movies they love.
• Surprise them on their special days:Never forget their birthday, anniversary, and mother’s day father’s day. Order something online and make them happy
• Make them feel important: Before taking any decision, even if you are not ready to take advice from them, at least in form them. . Promotions, rewards, call them the same day and inform them/ don't wait to tell in person
• Book a taxi for them:If your parents are able to drive a car and can go buy their own, ignore this point.Else book them a cab or get a driver’s numbers along with you. Whenever they are going for a hospital or for any long/remote marriages book them a cab and pay the money by yourself. Parents will not  accept as it costlier, but fight with them to accept it. 

And Friends, its your turn now. Please do post in comments section about your views 

Expectations and Possessiveness in a Relationship

Expectation and Possessiveness are two toxic elements which is a slow and silent killer in any relationship. Possessiveness comes only when we have the fear of losing the person and the real problem comes when we try to possess the person as "MINE

People do say, Possessiveness is sweet and that a romantic relationship always comes with possessiveness and expectation. But it’s a pathetic truth that our mind is programmed in that way. Possessiveness will definitely result in nagging and expectation will result in disappointment. If these 2 have negative outputs then why to be in a relationship and spoil the strength of a relationship?  So, let’s come out of the shell and think just a little different for a healthy relationship.

Remember that if you try to control and restrict your partner's life according to your preferences, you are greatly disrespecting them and you don't love them. If we truly love our partner, we love him or her unconditionally, without expecting him or her to love us in return and love us the way that we want them to love us. We will only wish him or her to be happy

If you are being possessive, it is “YOUR  issue - Your deficiencies.” Why to put your partner in a tough spot because of your doubts?
 Instead of feeding your mind with negative thoughts just focus on the word TRUST. Re-iterate your mind that, this is just a feeling, not the truth."

If he is online in what’s app for 24 hrs and if she is dropped in a bike at late hours, instead of infecting your mind with negative thoughts, just trust him or her and you can’t really change a person by attracting their behaviour. So accept the person as she/he is. More than anything, if you like someone, give them the space they need and accept them as they are

Only a relationship without possessiveness and expectation will bring peace and freedom. If you are in love with extreme possessiveness and expectations its not Love.

Detach yourself from expectation and possessiveness...slowly disappointment, anger, hatred, jealousy, frustration, fear, worry, and feelings of hurt will subjugate and happiness will come to picture

There is always a difference in "changing your partner" and "Accepting as they are and trying to grow with them". Do I need to point out that the first one sounds dominating, and if you cant do the second one then the relationship is pointless?

I love him for so and so reasons...

"I love him for his smile, his personality, his warm eyes, intelligence." - When I asked my friends, these were the replies I got. Some could say that the person they love were "key" in keeping their enthusiasm up and roaring, that they cheer them up, motivate them, advice them. Few could even say,  “He is so rich. He’s got lot of money”.

Is this Love?. Will it last forever?

When you fall for anyone who meet these SPECIFIC REASONS it’s just an attraction or mere-exposure effect.

All these reasons are like a mirage in a desert. These things might be just an illusion .They just disappear when u move forward in journey of life. When these reasons are not met, It is human nature to get frustrated and disappointed. This is where our mind starts questioning our decision.This is where u begin to ask those question above. Is this love?.This is the point where We stop appreciating him for all the good qualities he possess and start blaming him for not meeting our expectations. We cling to our fairy tales until the price for believing in them becomes too high.
Unhealthy relationships starts at the point where u grow irritated and start regretting your decision You start losing your patience and even a small thing would look like a huge mistake and you start reacting with hatred ,fear and ignorance. This is where the reasons fades away .

Does that mean “Love without reason lasts forever” Maybe. But when you fall for a person just for matching your checklist...At one point of time, you will regret it.
Love knows no reasons and it is beyond reasoning. Love connects your soul. It is the music of your heart.
So Let the love happen the way it has to be Naturally. The most beautiful things in the world are not seen and heard...But sensed...Your heart feels the love for him. Once the mind intervene its just a commitment not a feeling.
Keep falling in love over and over again without any reasons. Just enjoy every bit of your love without any reasons. Only one thing is constant in this world. Love. Only people fade, thoughts fade, not Love.!!
Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.

TOUCH (The One You Cannot Have) Thursday - What women really want from men.

TOUCH (The One You Cannot Have) Thursday - What women really want from men.

And here it is... my entry for TOUCH Thursdays no: 3

Here's the prompt -
Anjali is a character in the book. She has dated 6 men and rejected all of them. She is still looking for Mr.Right. She feels it is hard to get what she is looking for. Her friend Sriram Surve, would say the same about women--that it is hard to understand women. If you are a guy, write  3 things (or more!) that you really want from women. If you are a woman, write 3 things (or more)  that you really want from men.

I always believe expectations lead to giant disappointments. But still, I could not stop myself from having an expectation for my better half. After all, who does not dream of their man and envision daily?

Though Love is not a catalogue which is to be crossed checked against our partner, I pray god for the below in my life partner.

1. Who can find my sorrows behind my fake smile
2. Who can Ignore my negatives
3. Accept me as I am
4. And finally small silly fights followed by unconditional love



WWW

WWW???

   Techie reads it as World Wide Web/World Without Windows.
Sports people assumes it as World Wide Wrestling.
Etymology reads it as Word Within the Word.
Harry Potter Fans guess it as Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.
What, when and Where in Chat language.

But here my WWW refers to What Women Wants :) 

Do you believe cheerfulness blooms out when our life partner gifts us a Diamond Necklace? :D 

Or when he requests the salesperson to pack the costliest outfit in the shop? :))

Or when he takes his partner to 7 days 8 nights Mauritius excursion?? /hmm

Nah!
Nah!
Nah!
Nah!

The real happiness lies when our life partner acts as a wiper when we cry. When they perceive the tears behind an artificial smile. When they hold our forehead during an unbearable headache!A call during work hours to check about lunch intake. A tiny sms stating he will be late to domicile (in case)

Was this an over expectation? If so, SORRY!!!

Even solutions can be discovered to complex Maths problems. But unable to hit-upon the reason how the same blunder/Circumstances when our life-partner does becomes correct and becomes a Big crime/Sin when we do?!