Saturday, February 22, 2014


This is a guest post by Vijayeswari Muruganandam

This is the first time; I have tried my hands at writing. Bear with me!! Yes I am writing on something, which I don’t have a profound knowledge. But felt that, this could be tit-bits for all my friends, who are actively involved in their partner search!! As the title infers its about Marriage, Prejudices, DO's and DONT's.

Matrimony!! Reading this word itself would have flashed you with million feelings!! I am just two months old in matrimony search, so I am just sticking with a small post!!
This is purely based on my personal opinion and observation/experience. No Psychiatric evaluation done on this!!

Don’t try to judge people and be open to know, what they are!! 
- Very often, when we tend to judge people on the looks, with their mail communication etc. Most of the cases do not work out, because there are high chances for miscommunication. Writing is a therapy and you can express yourself without any inhibition, but you can’t guarantee that the intended reader gets it right!! If you are interested in a person and want it to work out, just pick up the phone or arrange for a meeting and get to know each other better. If it is going to be long distance proposals, need to consider carefully, the associated risks, uncertainties and constraints.

Don’t have a Stereotype and Pseudo Modern Mentality!!
- Allow the other person to express their feelings or emotions freely. It is absolutely fine, as you are trying to find your soul mate and this is not any ordinary relationship. The more you have the stereotypic views about a person, the more you have the chances of ending up in a wrong partner!! EGO factor plays an important role here. When the other person expresses their interest, you may don’t have to reciprocate or encourage it, but respect their feelings. The human DNA is wired in a way, that it can’t accept things which come easily. Often I have heard/seen men showcasing the “HUNT & CONQUER” characteristics.  Men get the sense of achievement and a source of great pride, going on knees for a woman, who is hard to get. Believe me, 99% of the women do not express their true feelings, because of this nature of men. If you want any relationship to sustain, throw the EGO out of you.  Admire them, Ask sorry, Say thanks whenever required and just try to be yourself and if someone does all this for you, don’t take them for granted. It means they value “YOU” more than their “EGO”. If you let your EGO in, people try to hide their emotions and present a fake personality. Do you really want that??

Don’t try to customize people!!
- Perfect man/ woman do not exist in the world. Never try to influence them or customize people, as this may not lead to a long lasting relationship. Try the ones, who best suits you. If they are not your type, just move on. Instead don’t try to tailor them according your expectations.

Don’t juggle with too many options!!
- There is nothing wrong in looking out for more options, as the human brain looks out for the best. But I personally prefer, to go one by one. Give some time to consider every person and look out for the qualities you expect. If you come across a person, who meets almost or majority of your expectations, just fix with them.  Comparisons can never stop and at any point, human mind is insatiable.

Don’t Pester!!
- Nobody in the world wants to be pestered. Expressing your interest should not appear like a menace to your potential partner. Relationships may fall out because of this, no matter whether it is before or after marriage.Men usually do not seek attention, but women do!! So boys try to pay attention to your girl, admire them. Dear girls try not to be over expressive, as men hate that!!


If it is worth doing, its worth over doing!! Yes, if you like someone, just try to be rational enough in considering the background, their interests and passion. Also be emotional enough to understand the person, analyse their emotional quotient and see whether this could work out for you. As every person is unique, some may express their interests soon and some may take long time to admit the interest. The moment you realise/ start to develop emotions for your partner, express it and don't wait for them to express it first. There is nothing wrong in expressing your feelings with the potential partner. Be empathetic!! Play it safe to avoid any last minute disappointments.


If you get rejected, don’t lose heart!! It’s just that people reject EXPENSIVE things, as they CAN’T AFFORD!!

Monday, February 17, 2014

I love him for so and so reasons...

"I love him for his smile, his personality, his warm eyes, intelligence." - When I asked my friends, these were the replies I got. Some could say that the person they love were "key" in keeping their enthusiasm up and roaring, that they cheer them up, motivate them, advice them. Few could even say,  “He is so rich. He’s got lot of money”.

Is this Love?. Will it last forever?

When you fall for anyone who meet these SPECIFIC REASONS it’s just an attraction or mere-exposure effect.

All these reasons are like a mirage in a desert. These things might be just an illusion .They just disappear when u move forward in journey of life. When these reasons are not met, It is human nature to get frustrated and disappointed. This is where our mind starts questioning our decision.This is where u begin to ask those question above. Is this love?.This is the point where We stop appreciating him for all the good qualities he possess and start blaming him for not meeting our expectations. We cling to our fairy tales until the price for believing in them becomes too high.
Unhealthy relationships starts at the point where u grow irritated and start regretting your decision You start losing your patience and even a small thing would look like a huge mistake and you start reacting with hatred ,fear and ignorance. This is where the reasons fades away .

Does that mean “Love without reason lasts forever” Maybe. But when you fall for a person just for matching your checklist...At one point of time, you will regret it.
Love knows no reasons and it is beyond reasoning. Love connects your soul. It is the music of your heart.
So Let the love happen the way it has to be Naturally. The most beautiful things in the world are not seen and heard...But sensed...Your heart feels the love for him. Once the mind intervene its just a commitment not a feeling.
Keep falling in love over and over again without any reasons. Just enjoy every bit of your love without any reasons. Only one thing is constant in this world. Love. Only people fade, thoughts fade, not Love.!!
Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.