There comes a point where explaining your pain feels pointless. You speak, but it feels like talking to a wall. I realized this slowly, not in one just moment, but through a series of small, exhausting incidents.
After hearing complaints about me being shared by a person casually with others, I chose silence. I accepted the blame, not because I agreed, but because I was too tired to defend myself. Sometimes, it feels easier to carry the blame than to keep proving you deserve to be heard or solved.
It’s exhausting when the people you turn to for a soft landing or a supportive shoulder don’t even bother to support you. Even if they had two additional ears, they would still ignore you, simply because they take you for granted.
I held it in for two days, hoping when I finally shared it, I would receive at least a little comfort. Instead, I recieved igonreance.
There were other moments too. Times when I needed support not dramatic gestures, just presence. Just someone standing beside me, showing I mattered. But that support never came. And over time, the absence of care started hurting more than any harsh words.
And then there’s something harder to say out loud. abuse. Not just emotional, but physical. What hurts even more is realizing that this is not “normal.” That other women around you are treated with basic respect, while you are left questioning your worth.
So, what is the real problem here?
The deeper issue many women face is being unheard, unsupported, and made to feel invisible in their own lives.
My mother, in her usual tone asked a relative why his daughter hadn’t come for a family function. He casually replied, “She’s not really interested in attending functions…”
To which my mom, genuinely puzzled, asked, Why? What’s the reason? Why are kids of this generation avoiding functions? How they will know the relatives?”
He replied, "Maybe you should ask Deepika… she’s closer to that generation. (Yes, I am just stuck in the buffering zone between the 90s and 2K!” 😄)
That line stayed with me. She’s closer to that generation.
Yes, May be I am close enough to understand Gen Z, but still rooted in the older system.
And suddenly, I realized, this wasn’t just about one girl skipping a function. This was about an entire generation quietly stepping back from something that once defined family life: relatives.
Let me be honest. I have what I call a “relative phobia.” I avoid gatherings when I can. I keep conversations minimal. And I often asked myself why?
After thinking deeply, here’s what I believe.
Support Is Rare:
One of the biggest disconnects is this: Relatives expect you to show up for every function, every ritual, every gathering. But when life gets hard? Absolute silence… or worse, a full blame game without even trying to understand what you was the actual situation.
Our generation has seen this clearly. We have watched ourselves struggle often alone. We have faced stress, emotional burnout… and rarely felt support from extended family. In fact, sometimes it almost feels like they are silently happy for your downfall.
So naturally, a question arises: Why should we invest emotionally in relationships that only exist during celebrations?
It’s not bitterness. It’s just… awareness.
Negativity Is the Default Language
Have you noticed how conversations often go in family circles?
Talking about who failed; Comparing whose life is better; There’s very little appreciation, very little kindness.
Our generation is actively trying to unlearn this. We are choosing positivity, mental peace, and conscious conversations. So when we walk into spaces filled with judgment and negativity, it feels… exhausting and draining.
This is something our generation values deeply boundaries.
We don’t want to share everything because it somehow turns into judgment in front of us and a full discussion behind our backs.
We don’t want to justify every decision, because you didn’t walk through the chaos, confusion, and pressure it took to make it.
We choose silence sometimes, not because we don’t trust you, but because peace feels safer than being misunderstood.
But in many traditional setups, this is seen as:
Arrogance, Disrespect and “This generation has no values”
In reality, we are trying to protect our mental space. We are not avoding people.
Relationships Feel Transactional, Not Emotional
Another hard truth. Where is the genuine connection?
Where are the conversations that go beyond surface level?
Where is the effort to know each other as individuals?
Our generation craves authenticity. If a relationship feels forced or performative, we slowly distance ourselves not out of ego, but out of emotional honesty.
So… Do We Really Hate Relatives?
No. We hate the experience that often comes with it.
We want:
Conversations without judgment
Presence during tough times
Respect for personal choices (We value your opinions too)
If those exist, we show up. Happily.
If not, we choose peace over pressure.
Final Thought: There was a phase in my life when things weren’t easy. And in that moment, almost all the relatives quietly stepped back.
No calls. No support. No “Are you okay?” Just distance and backstabbing.
Now, years later, I still try. I show up with a polite smile, I keep things normal on the outside. But somewhere inside, the words once spoken, the way things were handled… they don’t just disappear. They stay. They replay.
And I sometimes find myself asking.
Do we really need people in our lives who were absent when we needed them the most?
This is not anger. But we believe, relationships are not built only on presence during celebrations. They are built on how you show up when things fall apart.
So if someone isn’t coming to you with warmth, happiness, or openness…
maybe it’s not attitude. Maybe it’s not ego. Maybe, at some point, something broke.
And instead of asking, “Why have they changed?” maybe the better question is,
There are some questions in life that come from curiosity...wrapped in judgment… and repeated like a broken record.
One such question? “When is your second child getting released?”
Ah yes. The classic. I wanted to reply them, "Relax… it’s like Jana Nayagan, teaser ready, trailer ready, hype full on… and the release date? No updates yet 😄"
Let me tell you about this one person in my life. No matter what I say, literally anything, this question shows up.
Me: I’m going to this place.
That Family Planning Auditor: Why? Waste of time. Are you planning for a second child there?
I mean… seriously?
There was a moment I was genuinely proud of something I had done. It mattered to me. It was my achievement.
And then came the line that truly crossed every boundary:
“Dont you feel ashamed of yourself. Is this what you are proud of instead of producing a second child?”
That moment didn’t just annoy me. It triggered me.
Because suddenly, everything I am, everything I have worked for, was reduced to one expectation: Have another child.
Wait! And that person is not not my husband, not my mom or dad, not my sister, not even someone from my in-laws family… that person is just some one out of the blue, but my well-wisher. (lets call it)
So its almost funny how people have created a timeline for everyone else’s life:
Not married yet? “Why?”
Just married? “Any good news?”
First child? “Time for the second!”
And yes we all know it doesn’t stop. It never stops.
Even in 2026, with all the education and awareness around us, people still ask these Intrusive questions as if they are entitled to your life decisions.
I still remember a lady who, right after my first son, yes, while I was still lying in the hospital with stitches, barely out of the delivery room, told me, “You should immediately plan for your second child.”
Immediately? Sure… should I call my husband, who was still standing there holding our first child like it was the biggest moment of his life, and ask him to start the sequel right away?
Come on, I was still trying to figure out how to come back to Earth (not from magic mushrooms), but from the anesthesia the doctor gave me.
That Return Gift Concept: And, Oops, I forgot my relatives who take things to a whole new level: “Just have a child and give it to me. I will raise the baby and give it back to you.”
I am sorry… what?!
First tell me, Have you ever spent a full day with my first child? This isn’t something you can borrow and return. I am not library to rent and Return.
So, to all those people Behind every “Why not a second child?” there could be a story you know nothing about.
As I sat down to write this, I didn’t plan to be emotional.
But somewhere along the way, I realized that even the strongest couples don’t stay the same. And if I am being honest, mine changed too.
In the beginning, every couple fights, argues, cries, even tries to control but we always run back to each other, say sorry first, patch things up at any cost, because losing the person feels far more terrifying.
I remember those days.
If he didn’t talk to me for ten minutes, my heart would pain.
If we fought at night, I would not sleep.
Not even one single night passed without patching up each other.
And now?
Now, after a decade… when we argue, I don’t rush back to patch up.
I withdraw.
Because, I want silence, peace and space.
And that scares me.
Relationships almost follow a strange pattern.
In the beginning, you spend all your time together.
Then children come. Responsibilities grow. Careers expand.
The middle years almost 30 to 45 years become survival mode.
You are not lovers.
You are not even best friends sometimes.
You are no longer lovers dreaming together.
you are just two exhausted souls managing a house and quietly ticking the boxes of being “good parents".
They tell you, “After 60, when the children are settled, you will have time again for just the two of you. Love blossoms again”
But what about the 28+ years in between?
Does love dry out there?
Or do we just stop watering it?
Honestly… I don’t know.
Now we fight less.
Not because we understand better.
But Arguing with him? Feels Waste of energy.😓
He thinks, “She will talk tomorrow… she has to.”
I think, “He will come back to me in a week… he has no choice.”
Now we patch things up not because we miss each other,
but because life forces us to talk.
Because,
we have Decisions to make.
Parents meetings to attend.
So we speak.
Not to heal. Not to reconnect. But to FUNCTION.
So somewhere in between responsibilities and routines, we stop choosing/loving each other and start taking each other for granted.
But moving away from a fight without resolving it is a big Red Flag.
Have you ever thought about how many unresolved emotions a person carries when you extend silence or unresolved emotions like that?
The Illusion of “I have Got Them”
At some point, both partners start thinking:
“I have got my wife.”
“I have got my husband.”
That’s when effort reduces.
It’s not space.
We stop trying to impress.
We stop trying to understand.
But here’s the truth, people evolve.
Think about your childhood best friend.
Is that person still your best friend today?
Maybe yes.
If yes, you are blessed.
But most of us our personality change.
After a crisis.
After loss.
After success.
After motherhood.
After failure.
A fun person becomes calm.
A calm person becomes guarded.
A soft heart becomes practical.
The man I met on day one is not the man today.
And I am not the same woman either.
But we are still tied to each other not because we are the same, but because marriage doesn’t allow easy exits like friendships do.
When my son called and asked for two chocolates, my first response wasn’t “okay.” It was a typical parent reaction.
“Why chocolates?” I continued, “You know chocolates are junk food. Why do you need them?”
There was a short pause. Then he said, “Amma, I am not going to eat. I am going to gift. One for my badminton master, and one for my Dance Master.”
That answer stopped me and I suddenly felt proud.
Grateful, even. I smiled, stopped my vehicle, and walked into a nearby shop to buy them.
And that’s where the moment changed.
Inside the shop, a little girl - around 7 years old stood near the counter.
In a calm, practiced voice, she said, “One cigarette, uncle. It’s for my appa.”
The shopkeeper didn’t question her. Since she asked for just one, he opened a fresh packet and handed her a single cigarette, loose, with no cover and it went straight into her tiny hand.
She held it between two fingers. That image cut deep.
Here I was, buying chocolates as a sign of respect and gratitude and right beside me, a child was carrying addiction home.
Her hands were too small for that responsibility. Too innocent for that habit.
I walked out with the chocolates, but my mind stayed inside that shop.
Did that parent justify it by saying, “She’s just delivering it.”
But if a child can confidently ask for a cigarette, what are we normalizing for them?
A child should carry books.
Toys. Chocolates. Dreams.
Not cigarettes.
Even now, that moment hasn’t left me.
So I want to ask every parent reading this:
Are you sending your child to buy cigarettes for you?
Are you unknowingly teaching them that this is normal?
Today, my son learned about gratitude and respect.
That little girl learned how to carry a cigarette.
Both lessons were taught in the same shop.
And that difference… still hurts.
Let’s protect their innocence, not just from big dangers, but from the small, everyday ones we overlook.
This Skillora Anthem created by me is dedicated to every student of "21 DSS Group | Batch 01 | January 2026" group who chose discipline over comfort and action over excuses. To those who wake up at 5 AM, showed up consistently, and believeed in growth.
From childhood, I always had one small but powerful dream, to wake up at 4:30 a.m. People said it was Brahma Muhurta, the most peaceful and productive time of the day. Somewhere deep inside, I believed that waking up early could change the way life is.
During my school and college days, I was an early riser, at least by normal standards. Waking up at 7 a.m. felt easy. My body cooperated. Life was simpler.
In the early stages of my career, working till 4 a.m. and going to sleep at 4 a.m. was called productivity. In my early 20s, my body supported this lifestyle. I thought I was unstoppable.
But time teaches you lessons. Slowly, sleep problems started. Stress, pressure, sometimes sadness, all affected my sleep. Nights became restless. Mornings became harder. Even though I wanted to wake up early, I just couldn’t.
Yet, for almost a decade, one thought stayed with me: “If I wake up at 4:30, My Life will Change”
Anyone who has experienced staying up late at night like an owl knows this feeling, the heaviness, the guilt. The mind refuses to wake up next day and Morning arrives with regret, low energy.
On the other hand, anyone who has experienced early mornings knows a completely different feeling, the silence, the clarity, the focus. Whatever you do at that time feels purely productive.
So today, I am writing this blog after waking up at 4:30 a.m., with these thoughts flowing onto the page at 6 a.m. with a clear and calm mindset.
Sometimes, when something aligns with your interest, you just know you should try, even if you don’t know anything about it.
The best part? It didn’t start on January 1st. Because let’s be honest 😆 we all take resolutions on Jan 1st, fail, feel guilty, and by Jan 5th, we want a fresh hand to hold again. This felt like that second chance.
I told my husband something very honestly: “I have never asked anything from you. Just help me wake up for these 21 days.”
And support matters. He kept the alarm, woke me up, and he went back to sleep.
Day one of 21 day challance felt different. Special. Can you believe this, over 5,000+ registrations and nearly 2,000+ people showed up on Day One. The energy was unbelievable. Just by waking up, I felt I had already completed one checklist for the day.
Not Every Day Was Perfect, And That’s Okay. Day two, I made it.
Day three, I couldn’t wake up. But instead of giving up, I did something simple. I switched on my laptop, joined the session… and slept.
Yes, I slept, but sitting. Wrapped in my blanket, Bangalore weather being kind and cold, I slept sitting on the sofa with my laptop on. And you know what? I was happy. Because I showed up, even imperfectly.
On Day Four, I saw the community posts. People sharing their effort, their wins. That hit me hard.
If you really want something, you have to do it.
From that day, I became more sincere.
Today, it’s Day 10.
Out of these 10 days: 7 days I gave my 100%. 2 days I was half-asleep. One day I slept, but still stayed connected. And I am okay with that.
Because here’s the truth: A woman who used to wake up at 9 a.m., waking up at 5 a.m. itself is a huge achievement.
My goal is still 4:30 a.m everyday and I know I will get there with the community support and Dr.Suresh Pandian Sir. If You Want to Join the 5 A.M. Club, Read This
If you are holding this thought in your heart, here are my honest tips:
Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for presence.
Even if you miss a day or two, don’t quit.
Target 21 days, but forgive yourself if you miss a day
Progress matters more than streaks.
Even lying on the bed with your laptop on counts. Be there. Watch. Listen. Absorb.
Community changes everything. Seeing others try will push you to try again.
I was also inspired by our Mentor Suresh Pandia Sir, who wakes up at 4:30 a.m., takes a bath, and starts the class every day. Even more inspiring was his intention, to give something back to the community. Yes, he is making changes to our life
You know what? These 10 days changed me without me even realizing it. You can go through all my YouTube videos—I never showed my face before. But these days transformed something inside me. Yesterday, I posted my first YouTube video, and I surprised myself. The confidence I felt was different.
Another best part, honestly, is the workbook. It comes with thoughtful reflection questions that gently make you pause and look inward. When you write the answers in your own words and then see community members sharing their reflections, it naturally pushes you to do better. It feels like quiet homework - But a meaningful one.
Are you feeling overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of Bangalore’s city life? Looking for a refreshing escape from the never-ending traffic and pollution? 🌿Bangalore is surrounded by scenic weekend destinations perfect for a short break. Whether you are a nature lover, adventure seeker, or just want a peaceful staycation, there are plenty of amazing places near Bangalore for a quick weekend getaway.
You can explore the below links for Budget/Government Properties.
In this article, we’ll uncover some of the best weekend trips from Bangalore — from misty hills and tranquil lakes to ancient temples and wildlife sanctuaries — all within a few hours' drive. Get ready to explore hidden gems, rejuvenate your soul, and create unforgettable memories!
*N.G Lake, Manchinbele Dam, and Nelligudde Kere Viewpoint can be clubbed.
*Kanva Reservoir - Must Visit - A man came and informed us that there's a₹100 entry fee per person,as the place is his private property. Kayaking available - 250 per person)
These are just a few of the many weekend trip options that you can take from Bangalore. All these places are easily accessible and offer a perfect getaway from the city's hustle and bustle. So, pack your bags and head out to one of these beautiful destinations this weekend!
Have you ever gone to a grocery shop, taken a bus, or spoken to an auto driver only to be greeted with unexpected rudeness?
Or your normal day suddenly disturbed because someone behaved rudely?
Just a sharp tone. A careless attitude.
And suddenly, your mood is spoiled
Does this happen to you?
You walk away feeling heavy and someone around you says, “You are too sensitive.”
"Why are you overreacting. Ignore thier behaviour?”
And slowly, a question starts forming inside you: Am I weak? Am I broken?
The words ‘sensitive’ and ‘don’t overreact’ are often misused.
Being sensitive does not mean you are fragile or emotionally unstable. It means you are more empathic.
Carefree people often say, ‘If someone is rude, they have a psychological problem. It’s their issue, so ignore it and move on.’
But those words don’t really console you.
Psychologically speaking, when something feels rude or disrespectful, your nervous system reacts. Not because you are weak but because your inner values are deeply rooted in kindness, respect, and empathy. When those values are violated, your body responds before logic steps in.
You feel their tone, the energy, the intention behind them.
So no you are not broken. You are deeply human.
Does this mean you should become thick-skinned and stop caring?
Absolutely not.
Instead, ground yourself.
When something like this happens, touch something real.
A tree. A book. Your phone. Your bag.
Feel its texture. Come back to the present moment.
Tell yourself gently: “This is not mine to carry" and stretch a big smile, because kindness costs nothing, and peace is always worth protecting.
Your sensitivity is not a weakness. It’s your strength.
That’s exactly how our day began. My son and I were happily getting down the stairs and then one tiny moment changed everything.
A mistake happened.
Actually… not one. Two.
And yes, both were from my son’s side which has a zero-tolerance.
I lost my patience.
I did something I usually never do.
I slapped him. YES!
The moment my hand touched him, I knew it wasn’t just his mistake anymore, it became my (our) moment of heartbreak.
Before I could take a breath to fix it, to hold him, to say “sorry” or “come here,” the school bus arrived like the worst timed guest.
No time to talk.
No time to hug.
No time to repair.
He got in with a sad face.
We both stood there helpless.
And that… that was the worst feeling a parent can experience.
The Whole Day Felt Heavy
I carried the guilt like a stone in my chest.
I cried more times than I can admit.
In the office, at my desk, even while drinking coffee, I kept replaying that moment.
I kept asking myself: If I, as a grown-up with 30+ years of experience in controlling myself, broke down so easily, How was my little boy handling it at school?
I then ordered his favourite toy on BlinkIt, so he would feel excited after school. And while returning from office, I picked up all the snacks for him.
We finally patched things up… and just when I thought the storm had passed, he made another mistake. And boom !!! the loop continues. 😉
But, What I Learned something today. Parenting is not a straight line.
It’s a messy, emotional rollercoaster where both the parent and the child are learning how to love better.
Kids make mistakes. Parents do too. It’s normal. Human. Natural. (Even AI does mistake)
Losing control doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you a parent who needs a breath, not punishment.
Kids forgive faster than we forgive ourselves. Their hearts don’t hold grudges the way ours do.
The repair matters more than the mistake. What you say after the anger matters more than what caused the anger.
To Every Parent Reading This
If you have ever lost your cool…
If you have ever shouted…
If you have ever reacted too fast…
You are not alone.
And your child doesn’t need a perfect parent.
They just need a parent who comes back, hugs them tight, and tries again.
Parenting is not about never making mistakes
It’s about repair, connection, and growing together.
Deepika Muthusamy is an author, an ‘outdoorsy’ person, and a fitness enthusiast. Her passion for exploring new places, staying active, and living a healthy lifestyle is evident in her writing.
Her debut novel ‘Touch of Mist’ has been well-received by readers. The novel is a fictional love-story that explores the complexities of relationships and the power of love.
She is a Software Techie by profession and began her career with the IBM. Her expertise in technology has allowed her to create compelling characters and plotlines.
Deepika is also the co-founder of Bangalore Hikers and has organized several treks in and around Bangalore. Her experiences while traveling have provided inspiration for her writing and have helped her to create vivid, immersive settings for her articles.
Apart from her outdoor adventures, Deepika is also a fitness enthusiast. She has been participating in the TCS 10K Bangalore run, Coimbatore Marathon, and Pinkathon 10K run since 2012. Her commitment to fitness and a healthy lifestyle is reflected in her writing, as she often incorporates themes of physical activity and wellness into her novels.
Reena was all set to swallow the entire bottle of tranquilizers not to just drown her sorrows, but to END her life. She took out her high-end cell phone and scrolled down through her contacts in search of any possible guidance. As it was already 2:00 a.m. she was hesitant to seek out help at this late hour. She stood near the window and gaped at the electrified snaky road which seemed to beckon her towards heaven – the ultimate peace. But, on second thought, it seemed as hollow and dark like her life. She dragged herself inside her master bed-room, slid open the wardrobe door and took out a wooden framed photograph, which was taken about 20 years ago. It was a memorable sight of her family, where her dad was giving her a piggyback ride. She caressed the photo lightly and breathed a morose sigh. Crystal tears rolled down her eyes and fell onto the photo frame. She wiped off the droplet that had blurred out her dad’s picture and started wondering, who would wipe her dad’s tears away after her death. Still, her thoughts selfishly and stubbornly remained in favor of her decision to commit suicide.
