Some mornings start with Kaavaalaa song Vibe with the bgm of Mani Ratnam's Kannathil Muthamittal.
That’s exactly how our day began. My son and I were happily getting down the stairs and then one tiny moment changed everything.
A mistake happened.
Actually… not one. Two.
And yes, both were from my son’s side which has a zero-tolerance.
I lost my patience.
I did something I usually never do.
I slapped him. YES!
The moment my hand touched him, I knew it wasn’t just his mistake anymore, it became my (our) moment of heartbreak.
Before I could take a breath to fix it, to hold him, to say “sorry” or “come here,” the school bus arrived like the worst timed guest.
No time to talk.
No time to hug.
No time to repair.
He got in with a sad face.
We both stood there helpless.
And that… that was the worst feeling a parent can experience.
The Whole Day Felt Heavy
I carried the guilt like a stone in my chest.
I cried more times than I can admit.
In the office, at my desk, even while drinking coffee, I kept replaying that moment.
I kept asking myself: If I, as a grown-up with 30+ years of experience in controlling myself, broke down so easily, How was my little boy handling it at school?
Was he sad? Confused? Angry?
Was he blaming himself? Or me?
That thought shattered me all over again.
The Guilt Spiral Every Parent Knows
We parents don’t just feel guilty.
We feel three layers of it:
Guilt
More guilt
And extra guilt with interest
I tried to distract myself, didn’t work.
I then ordered his favourite toy on BlinkIt, so he would feel excited after school. And while returning from office, I picked up all the snacks for him.
We finally patched things up… and just when I thought the storm had passed, he made another mistake. And boom !!! the loop continues. 😉
But, What I Learned something today. Parenting is not a straight line.
It’s a messy, emotional rollercoaster where both the parent and the child are learning how to love better.
- Kids make mistakes. Parents do too. It’s normal. Human. Natural. (Even AI does mistake)
- Losing control doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you a parent who needs a breath, not punishment.
- Kids forgive faster than we forgive ourselves. Their hearts don’t hold grudges the way ours do.
- The repair matters more than the mistake. What you say after the anger matters more than what caused the anger.
To Every Parent Reading This
If you have ever lost your cool…
If you have ever shouted…
If you have ever reacted too fast…
You are not alone.
And your child doesn’t need a perfect parent.
They just need a parent who comes back, hugs them tight, and tries again.
Parenting is not about never making mistakes
It’s about repair, connection, and growing together.
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